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July 17, 2005 HOLLYWOOD, California - What defines a good band? What defines a punk band? If you ask the members of the band Good Charlotte they will tell you, they are neither good or punk. Good Charlotte is the “punk/pop” band that has scored countless of hits and sold millions of records; however, they come to Useless Knowledge personally to “clean out their closet.” Lead singer, Joel Madden, was in tears when Useless Knowledge interviewed the band. “I just wanted to say to the world that we’re frauds in music. Our music is fake, our image is fake, we are fake.” His brother, and guitarist, Benji Madden admits, “I wasn’t inspired by all those punk bands. I was more inspired by Rainbow Brite and Cabbage Patch Dolls than bands like Poison and Winger. What? They’re not punk bands?” Good Charlotte’s career started when music was dead with boy bands like Nsync, and cheap eye candy like Britney Spears. Good Charlotte came in with their punk attitude, black eyeliner, and pierced faces. Joel said, “We thought we would go in when music was horrible and change music forever. Well, we did. We made it worse.” Charlotte’s big hit was called “Lifestyles of the rich and famous,” a song about how Good Charlotte besmirches the wealthy and the famous; however, the song doesn’t make sense since they [Good Charlotte] are now rich and famous. “Me and my brother were just so upset when we lived in Maryland. I just hated all those ‘fakers’ in Hollywood, but now that we had success we’re the same fakers that live in Hollywood. We forgot who we were. We forgot how to be punk. I mean, I’m dating Hilary Duff for God’s sake, how un-punk is that?” says Joel. The one regret that the band has with their success is lying to their loyal fans. “I’m not saying we don’t appreciate our fans, but I just feel that we lied to them by saying we’re punk or tough, because it’s common sense that we are not. I mean, Lindsay Lohan’s 8 year old brother can kick my butt.” Fans galore have loved Good Charlotte; posters, lunch boxes, t-shirts, and everything else that defines a sell out, have sold millions. One person who is unhappy with Good Charlotte’s success is KISS member, Gene Simmons. “They ripped off KISS. Look at them, they wear make-up, they have merchandise, thousands of loyal fans, mediocre music, they ripped us off.” Good Charlotte has even gotten their own cover band, “Bad Carolina.” The lead singer’s name is Randy Willis, a former hairdresser. “I told my best-friend, Booty, that we should start a punk band like Good Charlotte. We got some instruments and started to play, and the crowd loved it, because we never played music in our lives and we sounded just as bad as Good Charlotte.” Joel and Benji had spent years with this “secret,” but just like other bands such as Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte is fake, and Joel and Benji has the courage to tell the world that they are fake. We asked both Benji and Joel if they wanted to tell their fans anything. Benji said, “Stay true to yourself, because frankly I don’t know who I am anymore. I LOVE YOU JESSICA BIEL!” Joel said, “I’m so sorry to those who love real music with real inspiration. We’re not the Beatles, we’re not even the Spice Girls, we’re much worse than that, we’re Good Charlotte, and we’re fake.” You can see Joel and Benji next year in, “The Surreal Life 6: More has-been’s.” Also, look for their new album this Fall, the title of the new album is “Songs about Daddy Volume 53.” ==The story as represented above is written as a satire or parody. It is fictitious.== ------------ Email Franklin D. Hayes: franklindhayes@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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