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July 12, 2005 America is facing a problem of epic proportions. And it’s a problem that is direct result of the War on Terror and the ever-rising price of oil. It’s what I like to refer to as Price $2, or P2D. And it’s clear as soon as you see those giant digital signs that advertise the price of gasoline at the Shell just off the freeway. In the last half of the 1990s, governments and corporations around the world spent billions of dollars fighting the dreaded Year 2000, or Y2K, glitch. The fear was that computers programmed to accept two-digit years would reset themselves to 1900 instead of rolling over to 2000, causing mass chaos and confusion as power plants shut down, cash registers failed to ring, and aircraft fell from the sky. Years of hard work, diligence, and judicious programming saved the world from what many feared was the Beginning of the End. But P2D is a much more insidious beast. Many gas-station signs simply aren’t designed to cope with gas being over $2 per gallon. There’s no physical way to make the readout designed specifically to show a “1” show a “2”. What we’re left with, then, is a brief and deceptive feel-good return to the Good Old Days—you know, when grandma and grandpa walked fifteen miles to school, in the snow, uphill both ways, after milking thirty-eight cows and feeding sixty-two chickens—when gas really was a quarter a gallon, and Americans didn’t worry about oil supplies being cut off suddenly and having to wait in line for hours for a measly tankful. Since it’s more likely for the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series than it is for gasoline prices to fall under $2 per gallon in the foreseeable future, our government needs to step up to the plate and mandate that all digital signs used to advertise gasoline prices be able to show a price up to $99.99. This not only covers the $2 per gallon we’re paying now, but also the $10 per gallon that Americans six or seven generations beyond us are likely to pay. This could be a joint effort involving several Cabinet departments—notably Commerce, Energy, Homeland Security and Transportation. The new P2D Federal Gasoline Price Sign Initiative would do wonders for the weary traveler. Not only would it give him an accurate price for the gas he has to buy eventually, it also gives the oil companies and station chains a chance to update some weather-beaten old logos. The famed Texaco Star has been around so long, it’s lost its luster. The familiar orange and blue ball of 76 is in need of a punch-up. Heck, maybe even BP can get rid of that graphic representation of terrestrial plant life, or whatever it is, and go back to the better-known green and gold shield. Now I know what some of you are thinking. We can’t afford billions of dollars to change all those signs just now. We need that money to keep fighting that war. Well, rest assured that the weary traveler, who is spending his hard-earned dough to finance that war, which in turn allows him to drive from Meridian to Tuscaloosa to see Ma and Pa without fear of terrorists, foreign or domestic, would appreciate those new signs. At the very least, he’s entitled to know how much more hard-earned dough he’ll have to shell out to get through the No Man’s Land of western Alabama. And it won’t take nearly as long for him to see that his money is actually going to good use. Now if our government can just figure out how to win that War on Terror… ------------ About the author: Claxton Graham has written a number of articles for Useless Knowledge. He works as a business systems analyst. Email: scifiwriter8502@email.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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