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July 10, 2005 I have to admit it was good seeing Tom Cruise without his Ritalin in this movie. He’s much more in control of himself without the psychotropics he so desperately needs. I can’t imagine what he would be like with those deadly chemical restraints coursing through his bloodstream. Anyway, about the movie, “War Of The Worlds.” It was a weak remake of a weak movie. Steven Spielberg had a good idea that went sour. It was painfully predictable. It started with a bang and ended with a fizzle. The original movie was not much better in my opinion. So, why make a remake? Many directors and producers think they can revive something missing in the old movies, but as my grandpa always said, “you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip.” There was nothing for Spielberg to squeeze with the old H. G. Wells flick. I doubt very much the old “Bad News Bears” remake will be any different. I bought my ticket and a box of Milk Duds, and took my seat. I counted fifteen other people in the dark confines. Seeing Tom Cruise running a huge overhead crane at the very beginning, started me thinking. Would he fight these huge mechanical beasts from outer space? Perhaps he would climb inside one of them and start kicking some ass. However, that’s not how the story went. Spielberg’s special effects were marvelous for about fifteen minutes, after that, it was overplay. Cruise’s character, Ray Ferrier, tried to return his children, Justin Chatwin and Dakota Fanning, to their mother in Boston. A long protracted trip ensued and made me yawn, and return to the snack stand for a box of Dots. If I heard Dakota Fanning’s blood curdling scream one more time I was going outside, smoke a cigarette, and pop a Ritalin. Man, I was having flashbacks of my first marriage. For those of you that haven’t seen it and are planning to go to the theater, don’t buy Dots unless you know they’re fresh. I have a better idea, go to Family Video next month, and rent it. Buy some fresh Milk Duds at the Dollar Store, put the DVD in your player, and pop an Ambien. Or skip the Ambien; either way you’ll sleep through the entire thing.
So what if I laid a few bucks down to see a mediocre movie? I’ve done it before. But, it seems I’ve been doing it more lately. I really should go see a psychiatrist to understand why.
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