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Jan. 29, 2005 I tried to call the President today. All I got was the answering machine, “Hi, you’ve reached the home of Bronco Buck and Annie Oakley. We’re not available to come to the phone right now. George is busy writing a check for $80 billion to the Marine Corps for the continued fight in Iraq and I am busy smiling. Please leave a message and someone will get back to you by 2009.” Needless-to-say I was disappointed that I was unable to speak with George. I think that once we get by this liberal/conservative thing, the President and I could become good buddies. His wife Laura seems like a likeable, calm, and fair person. My wife is a likeable, calm, and fair person. George likes a good steak, me too. George drives a pickup truck, me too. I can’t see why we couldn’t hook up and become friends. George likes Condi Rice. I like chicken- fried rice. The President likes ol’ Dick Cheney. I like old Lon Cheney horror movies. He wants to attack Iran. I want to attack Imus in The Morning. We have so much in common. Why can’t we be friends? The President operates in the highest deficit ever, me too. He wants another tax cut. I want to be able to pay my taxes. George says we’re making great progress in Iraq. I am making great progress getting my roof patched. The President wants to help our immigrants. I want to emigrate.
The list goes on. Please George if
you’re reading this, let’s become friends. We’re
practically blood brothers now. My life’s blood
is being spilled every time I pay two bucks for a
gallon of gas. I’ll tell you what; tomorrow
we’re having a game of dominoes at some friends’
house. Why don’t you bring the little lady over
and we’ll tip a few brewskis. Laura and Debbie
(my wife) can sit around and smile. You and I
can talk about duck hunting and stem-cell
research. Come on George “why can’t we all just
get along?”
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