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Jan. 16, 2005 So here’s what I’m thinking these days. You probably won’t like it but then I’m not running for office either. Ate up the fruitcake and cookies and candy canes soI had to go to some stores to shop finally. People are pigs and I am planning to do something about it. I made my New Year’s Revolutions about Piggy People. In restrooms, I see people come out of the stall and go right out the door. THEY DO NOT WASH their hands. Therefore, I’m making sticky tags to put in bathrooms that say: Toilet Paper is NOT infallible. Sort of like a Fortune Cookie. That’s my New Year’s Revolution. Number #1. Another thing is everybody looks alike. It’s so boring. Not many people are unique anymore. Straight teeth, shiny hair, tasteful threads -- whole magazine/TV look. My response to that is to look at these model types as if they were Turd Blossoms. (I can use that word if the President can, right?) Failing being able to say, that I will look at them as if they were stink bugs. You know, roll my eyes, sniff and gag a little. That is New Year’s Revolution #2. My third one is easy. You can all do it. I’m not watching any reality television, no matter how humiliated and stupid the contestants are. The poor victims deserve a break. Meantime, I’m email the biggies to say “Don’t victimize those contestants with money, you mega-jerks.” There is a slight hitch. That cat, my cat with the bald spots and the wayward eye, just made it on to Seattle’s Gimme the Mike. I’ll take him but I won’t watch. ------------ About the RD Larson: new book out, Mama Tried to Raise a Lady, already up for an EPPI, anthology of short stories available at ebooksonthe.net in print and download. Visit: www.RDLarson.com Email RD Larson: RDLarson419@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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