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Jan. 9, 2005 I wanted to write tonight, but I couldn't figure out what in the world to write about. I was originally going to write something about snowboarding, seeing as there is 600 feet of snow in my yard right now, but it just didn't feel right. So I called my thirteen year old second cousin (yes, my family is that closely knit), and said, "Hey, what should I write about?" This is really cool, cause she thinks I'm famous, and she's going to google my name and show it to all her friends... so I figured, I'll hand the whole theme over to her. I gave her fifteen minutes to think about it and I called back and she said, "I have a happy one and a sad one. Which one do you want?" I told her to let me hear both, and she says to me, "the happy one is 'why do you always remember your first kiss' and the sad one is 'what it's like to have your dad been in jail and your mom be a drunk'". That struck me. I know what it's like to have my dad be in jail. He's been in and out a couple of times in my life, and I was just about her age the second time he went in. Her father was just put in county jail for thirty days for defaulting. He's awaiting trial. And her mom, well, her mom has been known to knock a few too many back a bit too often. And that is sad. I have kids. Many of you have kids. One day my cousin will grow up and she will have kids, God help my quickly aging soul. I can only hope that she takes these circumstances that have been placed around her and go in the complete opposite direction. She can easily pick up a bottle of gin or whiskey before her sixteenth birthday and wind up on the same path as her mother. And while I love her father to death, she can just as easily wind up in jail, or if she's "smart" like me, waste some or all of her life with someone who is in and out of jail. I don't want to see that. I don't think anyone with a heart does. But I worry, I do. Thirteen is a fragile age with fragile things going through your head at alarming rates and you need people there for you. I thank the good Lord above that we are a tight family and this girl, who may I say, exhibits amazing strength in these trying times, is not left alone with her brother and sister wondering what to do with herself. This is a time of peer pressure and things like drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex come into play in too many instances. We hold our children close in this family, she has the guidance of her grandmother, her cousins, aunts, and her father's girlfriend. People who do not want to see her fail at the things that life will throw at her. People who love her and what to see her become more than what she has been raised around. More than any of us have been or could ever be. That's the happy. When it all comes down to it, you need family. And I know one day, she will be sitting down with my daughter telling her things like how not to wear blue eye shadow if you have brown eyes and laughing out loud when she is begged to stay with a particular boyfriend based on the size of his swimming pool. I know deep down, my cousin, and her older brother, and her little sister will all become stronger than this. They will become the good people we know they can be, they already are. No matter how much their mom drinks or how long their dad is in jail. They are strong, they are smart, and they will come out of this better than they think. So that's it, I guess I didn't necessarily pick the sad one, just the more unfortunate one. And, by the way, because I know she is going to read this, the first boy I kissed was Tommy and I was in the fourth grade. I was 8 years old, it was sixteen years ago, and I still remember. ------------ About the author L.J. Chapman: I am a mother of two kids. I run a freelance business online, called LJC Freelance Inc. I'm trying to get a novel written, but I am a mother of two. Email: snowboarderspixiegirl8@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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