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Feb. 26, 2005 You're sitting there, watching tv, not bothering anyone when it hits you. You're inner voice says "I feel rather wierd". Your hands start to get clammy and your toes begin to tingle. Your stomach starts doing things that make you think you are going to vomit up your entire digestive system. Trembling, you make your way to the bathroom where you splash cold water on your face as your heart pounds hard enough that you can feel it in your eyeballs. Your mind starts racing with thoughts like "what is wrong with me?", "I think I'm gonna die", "that must be it...I am having a heart attack"! You run from window to window frantically trying to sniff in as much fresh air as you can. You can't stop the fear from overcoming you as you pace around wondering if you should call 911. You feel like you can't breathe. Soft sounds that normally don't even make it past your conscious being, are ear-splittingly loud. You begin to see tiny flickering spots in front of your eyes as your body prepares to faint. But the fainting never comes. It seems as though your life force is slipping away and you are going to go completely crazy with fear. You are trapped in the hell of a panic attack. My first panic attack was all of the above plus a whole lot more. That was nearly five years ago. I didnt know what was happening to me then, and I spent many nights in the emergency room thinking I was having a heart attack or dying of some mysterious disease. When I was first diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder I didn't believe it was true. I was stronger than that. I knew how to handle stress and the doctors were just missing something in all the testing. But after a while I had come to accept the fact that stress had overcome me and was wreaking havoc in my body. My first doctor had me on so many prescriptions that the pharmacy knew me by name. I started out on Paxil, but when that wasn't enough to controll my panic attacks, she added Buspar. I couldn't sleep so she added Elavil to the mix. I had frequent dizzy spells so she tacked on another medication which, the name of, at the moment escapes me. Still complaining about my sypmtoms, she gave me another script. This time for Ativan. Wow! That's a ton of meds. I had to get one of those huge plastic pill boxes with the days of the week printed on the little sections. If that weren't enough, I ended up having to take a blood pressure medication after a while because for some reason my blood pressure was up. Hmmm...I wonder why. I was getting no relief of my symptoms and was experiencing new, even stranger symptoms daily. One of the most annoying feelings I would get was that of tiny electrical shock sensations in my tongue. I was still having the panic attacks, probably at least one big one a week, and felt constant anxiety and fear in every single situation of my life. I would stand in line in the grocery store sweating and praying that the line would move faster because if I couldn't get out of there ASAP, I was definitely gonna go crazy and freak out in front of everyone. I would spend an enormous amount of time in the restroom at work for fear I was going to have an attack and embarrass myself in front of the whole assembly floor. After a couple years of being under this doctor's care I had had enough. It was time to say goodbye and find someone who would actually be able to help me with this debilitating affliction. I happened to be up late one night and ran across an infomercial for a program to help with anxiety, panic, and depression. I bought the book and to my amazement, one of the doctors who helped to create this program was practicing in my city! I was so excited I didn't waste any time and called his office at 9a.m. sharp the next morning. That first appointment was a turning point in my nightmarish existance. This guy understood what I was telling him and offered me explanations that I could actually wrap my brain around. For the first time I really felt like I was not crazy and everything was going to be okay. I went through this wonderfull program, and with his guidance I was starting to feel back to my normal self! Today I am on one medication and can usually stop a panic attack before it even starts. Sure, I still have an occaisional attack, but I know exactly what is happening to me and exactly how to handle it. I am living life again instead of cowering under my bedsheets all day long. This article is just a minute sample of my experiences with this disorder. I am always happy to share my experiences and knowlegde concerning anxiety and panic with anyone who asks. If you suffer with this affliction and need someone to talk to, I'm your gal. I am currently considering writing a book about my "adventures in hell", but have yet to get started. Anxiety and panic disorder doesnt have to ruin your life, there is good help out there. I am living proof. ------------ About the author Renee K. Tran: II am a stay at home mom who enjoys writing and gardening. Please feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions you may have concerning my articles at: mmmmchips@buckeye-express.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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