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Feb. 22, 2005 Today, professional wrestling is, in so many words, horrible. With ticket sales for both RAW and Smackdown sadly decreasing, not to mention merchandise sales falling to an all time low, it seems that the wrestling industry is not so “booming” like it once was. TNA or NWA or whatever, hasn’t done well either getting its talent out in the mainstream. For a show called “Impact” it hasn’t shown me anything of interest. Instead, I’m seeing Kevin Nash, a washed up champion whose prime was up when WCW closed its doors, and Jeff Jarrett, a champion only because his daddy owns the company. Maybe they should have Triple H vs. Jeff Jarrett to see who is the bigger @$$ kisser for their company. I believe my money is on Triple H, because not only is he kissing the @$$, he’s also penetrating it as well. I watched RAW yesterday and am still surprised that the show that once dominated the ratings on Monday night still sucks; horrible angles, terrible wrestling, and even worse, more crappy commercials ripping off classic movies to promote Wrestlemania XX. Yes, the WWE is going Hollywood. Translation, the WWE is going straight to hell. Vince? We knew the WWE was going straight to hell the day you said, “hey, let’s make Randy Orton World Champion.” Or, “hey, how about we have this retard named Eugene come in and beat the hell out of our top guys.” Geez, Vince, atleast try to seem professional wrestling isn’t fake. I watched a no name who calls himself “the Masterpiece.” They should call him, “the Joke,” because that is what Chris Masters is, a joke. He is a combination of Randy Orton and Batista. His finishing move is the classic wrestling move called the Full-Nelson. Yeah, Chris, the 60's called, they want their finishing move back. What happened to hardcore matches, Vince? Is your budget too tight to risk some wrestlers? It was okay to have Mick Foley get his brains scrambled, but when it comes to wrestling now, it’s all about how they look. What happened to wrestlers having balls to wrestle for the love of wrestling, whether in pain or not, now it seems if a wrestler stubs a toe, he’s out for atleast 6 months. I remember watching Sabu go through tables, barbed-wire, get hit with chairs, wrestle a 20 minute match and still wrestle the very next week. The one thing that Vince actually did right was to boost Dave Batista’s character into main event status. It’s about time, Vince! Batista should have been the world champion before Randy “Overrated” Orton. Hell, the Honky Tonk Man should have been the world champion before Randy Orton. It was nice to see Dave Batista get the recognition he deserves, namely the long awaited match between Triple H and Batista at Wrestlemania for the world title. It’s about damn time! A lot of people have been wondering what is my opinion on certain superstars in the wrestling industry. Who do I like, who do I dislike, etc. Of course the Rock is not one of my favorites only because he is not as hard working and still gets more recognition than those who work everyday, while the Crock makes movies. By the way, I am seeing “Be Cool,” because it does look “cool.” I actually like Triple H, I think Triple H gets a lot of heat because he is married to Stephanie McMahon, who is the daughter of Vince McMahon. However, he shows up for work every Monday, rarely does he not wrestle, and recently he is giving new guys the spotlight (Shelton Benjamin is an example). One wrestler whom I think was highly underrated, except in ECW, is TNA-NWA’s very own, Raven. I was watching “The Rise and Fall of ECW” and nostalgia kicked in for me when I saw Raven in his prime. Raven was a dark, mysterious, poetic, and grungy character. Raven, unlike most wrestlers in the mid-90's, wore only a tore up shirt, black combat boots, torn jean shorts, and taped hands, where as the norm for wrestling attire would be silk underwear like tights with pretty colors like...pink. Before Vampiro, before Sting. Before Edge, there was Raven. Sadly, the bigger companies like WCW, WWE, and TNA screwed up the character Raven. I hope by some chance Scott Levy (Raven) reads this. Scott, please, lose the skirt and wear the jean shorts again. The skirt isn’t you, man, lose the skirt. I believe the problem with wrestling is there is no one making up characters that reflect that person. For example, Steve Austin was a Hollywood Blonde in WCW, but in reality he was redneck that drove a pick-up truck, cussed like a sailor, and drank beer, but WCW wanted the redneck from Victoria, Texas to be a good- looking blonde from Hollywood. When Austin went to WWE, Vince gave him the chance for Austin to be “himself” and the rest is history. The Rock’s character was a reflection of Dwayne Johnson, the character worked. Triple H was a character that reflected Paul Levesque. However, Vince is starting to bring back gimmicks again. I wonder if Nick Dinsmoore’s soul reflects the dim-witted Eugene character? I bet it isn’t, though he does play an idiot pretty well. What I hate about Eugene is, he takes other moves, like the Rock Bottom, The Stone Cold Stunner, The People’s Elbow, The Pedigree. This unoriginal idiot can’t even get his own gimmick. Does the name Hacksaw Jim Duggan ring a bell? Compare the two, and even you will not notice the difference. The only difference? I believe Hacksaw’s character. Eugene, I know it’s a gimmick and a very bad one at that. Of course, there are some gimmicks that may seem outrageous, but actually work. For example, Jake “the Snake” Roberts. It seemed it was just a harmless gimmick where a man would bring a snake to the ring, but Jake would use, what he calls, “ring psychology” to captivate the fans into believing he IS that character. Another gimmick or character was a man I recently mentioned, the Honky Tonk Man. The Honky Tonk Man was deemed as “the greatest intercontinental champion” of all time. While it is true that Honky was and is the greatest IC champion, you will hear no arguments from me, but I remember him the most as being “the innovator of using the guitar as a weapon.” Way before Jeff Jarrett ever did it. To be honest, Jeff Jarrett ripped off the Honky Tonk Man with beating people with a guitar. The first time I saw the Honky Tonk Man wrestle was when he wrestled Randy “Macho Man” Savage, which resulted in Randy receiving a guitar shot to the head by the Honky Tonk Man himself. It was unbelievable, and it hooked me into watching wrestling. I watched the Honky Tonk Man lose his 14-month reign to a wrestler, or lack thereof, known as “the Ultimate Warrior.” To this day, I don’t understand what Vince was thinking. I would have loved to see an actual contender, like Bret Hart, face the Honky Tonk Man for the IC belt. Nope, instead, we get a muscled bound moron with paint running around as if he was looking for the bathroom after 4 pitchers of beer. The Evolution of wrestling, not the stable, has morphed like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. There are times where it sucks, and there are times where it is the center of the universe. While the WWE has potential of making a comeback, there is no hope for them unless they start to shake things up a bit. The ECW PPV. BAD IDEA, VINCE! ------------ About the author Eric Schomburg: Useless-Knowledge Columnist of the year 2004. An Apocalyptic Dream is now out for purchase. Check out both books at http://www.geocities.com/schomburg2002. Email: schomburg2002@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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