HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Feb. 17, 2005 Once upon a time, there lived a giant by the name of Paper Book. For centuries, Paper Book played a crucial role in the development of the world we live in. It was a hero to all, for it was the standard of all enlightenment. Unfortunately, heroes have been known to fall. “I am the caretaker of excellence,” crooned the mighty giant, its old-world editor’s eyes gleaming appreciatively as it examined itself in the full-length mirror. “Mine are the hallowed-halls of time-honored tradition, and within those halls reside the many pinnacles of Man’s hopes, dreams, philosophies, knowledge, and talent.” “May I help?” asked the little Ebook eagerly while gazing upon the giant in awe and admiration. “WHAT KNOW YOU OF SUCH IMPORTANT MATTERS!” boomed the giant’s thunderous voice of authority. Then, noticing young Ebook’s dejected expression, “You are far too young and inexperienced to be of any true use to me. Still, being the benevolent Deity of Paper that I am, I shall bestow upon you a magnanimous gesture. Here, you can take care of these Fan-Fiction sites. That aught to keep you busy,” concluded the giant with an air of authority, then turning to hand a tiny folder ‘marked Fan-Files’ to Ebook while noticing its own reflected paper buttocks with a narrow-eyed lustful admiration. Bureaucracy serves its masters, not its master’s indentured customers. You and I (as Readers & Writers) are both witness and victim to one of the biggest scams ever perpetrated. Specifically, the unnecessary perpetuation of a one-time hero whose unrelenting propaganda serves no agenda but its own. “Don’t you think Electronic books should be presented along side paper books, sir?” Ebook asked in a subdued tone, his eyes wandering nervously about Paper’s massive library. “Oh, my foolish, infinitesimal friend,” crooned Paper in a fatherly manner. “Nobody wants to read books off of a video-screen. They want the feel of a real book. They need that old familiar smell of print and paper. They want the ability to turn the physical page.” “Are you sure they wouldn’t like to be able to resize the text when their eye’s become weary? Or have the ability to save half the space in their homes by keeping a virtual library saved on disk? And what about being able to read with your hands free of holding the book? It’s not exactly easy to drink coffee while your— “SACRILEGE! HERESY! PAGANISTIC RITUAL!—Be careful, Squirt! I may be forced to smite thee!” Don’t let the pompous vanity of a fallen hero misguide you. And to you, Paper, I say this. Look to your laurels, for we aren’t going away, though you might. If you doubt me, then just consult one of your own History books. Look up such subjects as The Pony Express, The Telegraph, Gas Lights, Aluminum Siding, and The Postal Service, now so affectionately known as Snail Mail. To date, your continued existence has been nothing but a matter of the prior momentum acquired in your heyday; the support of generations past and aging fast. What will you do when the Baby-boomers are gone? What course of action will be left to you when the first generation of readers (who will have never known a time before The Information Highway) decide to simply use trees for breathing? How about this for a magnanimous gesture? Get off your self-serving, oil-industry mentality and join us all in a celebration of mankind’s ability to rise above its reputation for industrial masturbation. So maybe you won’t be able to unnecessarily charge five times any book’s worth, and you might actually be expected to climb down from your old-world Editor’s pedestal, but just think of the great feeling you’ll get when you stop trying to pass yourself off as superior to the rest of us mortals. As for me, well I would never wish an end to paper books. There is still that old and comfortable feeling of reassurance one derives from holding the familiar avatar that a paper book represents. I suppose in a perfect world where ego and greed are not the predominant driving force, Ebooks and Pbooks would both be viewed as equals in a world that prefers options. And of course, in many cases this can be seen even now. But there’s yet a long way to go, and if you don’t believe me, just take a look at just about any “Traditional” publisher’s submission guidelines. It reads a great deal like, “Ebooks to the back of the bus.” “Here’s one you might like,” commented the little Ebook casually as it passed Paper Book’s personal library on its way back to the Internet. Paper Book turned about just in time to catch the old children’s novel as Ebook closed the door, leaving Paper to itself. In glancing down, Paper read the title, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” On a more personal note, I would just like to invite all paper publishers who might be interested in my novel to— “Hey! Just what do you think you’re doing?” asked little Ebook with great indignity. “I’m shamelessly plugging my book. What’s it look like?” “After everything you just said, you’ve got the gall to—“ “Dude, I got bills to pay!” “TRAITOR!” “What? I gotta eat don’t I?” “SACRILEGE! HERESY! HYPOCRISY!” “FOOD! SHELTER! ELECTRICITY!... CAR INSURANCE! ------------ About the author Nathan Cardwell: My Sci-fi/Fantasy novel, RENDERING NIRAYEL,is available at PulplessFiction. http://www.pulplessfiction.com/ Or you can link to PulplessFiction through my own website at http://members.cox.net/npcardwell/Nirayel%20Website.htm Email: npcardwell@cox.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
