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Dec. 29, 2004 Outside the sun is shining, kids are playing, the postman is making his rounds and the cable guy is climbing a telephone pole. I'm inside in my dark living room, flipping through channels and wondering why Seinfeld hates Newman so much and why none of the desperate housewives in my neighborhood looks anything like Nicolette Sheridan. I'm fascinated and repelled by that sexy-bizarre Cottonelle toilet-paper commercial with all the shots of people's jiggly butts. I curse as my TV pushes another prescription pill; how about a pill that will make my mind go blank when a commercial comes on? My dog barks. I get up and look outside my window, but it's only a woman walking her poodle who has Midnite is such a frenzy. The lady has skimpy shorts and my eyes follow her leisurely progress down the street, but then the Brady Bunch theme song comes on and I close my drapes to the world. The world is spinning in its axis without any regard for me. I have nothing to do and so I watch nothing on the boob tube. Leave it to Beaver transports me back to my days of innocence. How ironic that in this age where vulgarity reigns supreme, no show could get away with such a title. Was that Barney Fife or was that the director of Homeland Security making a speech about making the world safe for democracy, before I fell asleep? I get up to go to work. I leave the TV on. Jobs come and go; friends and lovers come and go -- but my TV is always there. It's always ready and willing to fill my mind with blessed nothingness. ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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