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Dec. 28, 2004 As I sit here pondering the years end I think to myself “What the hell do I have to show for it”. I am depressing myself more and more thinking about it. Jeeze I should have been a doctor or a lawyer, helping people doing something useful. I let everyone down; my wife, my sons and daughter everyone. My wife reminds me of this every damn day. I left my home in shameful disarray. It’s not that I didn’t try. I had a job and a good one two, but this wasn’t enough. I am the kind of guy, a small town regular Joe who thrives on the simpler things of life. My wife on the other hand needs the finer things that life has to offer. I personally can live in a tent with her and my kids and we could put it by a lake and we can fish and play. My wife didn’t seem to love the things I did and although I tried I failed. I now find myself living in a field under a makeshift shelter fending for my dinner. I still work but my looks are failing. I am tired but do what I must. I like a hunter I will only take what I need. I send most of my pay to her keeping 100 dollars for food and other necessities. At least she can provide for my kids with what I send to her. I make seven hundred dollars a week so I’m sure what I send is more then enough. I walk over to my daughter’s school at least once a week. I hide behind a tree as she leaves school so I can at least see her growing up. My sons play in the park and I can see them from the track s by the bridge. Their doing just fine without me there. It has been years since I have seen my children. I am doing better these days. I bumped into my son just the other day. He invited me to lunch and we talked for the first time since he was six. He is a grown man now and I just a frail old man that he once new. I was asked by him why I left them. I told him that his mother just didn’t want the same things I did. He told me that she told the children that I was doing just fine and that I was rich and remarried. She also told them that I didn’t send a penny to support them since I left twenty years ago. I didn’t want to disillusion him so I just told him I loved the children and did what I could. I also was too ashamed to tell him that I was homeless for the most part of twenty years. We finished with our little talk and who drives up but his mother to meet him for lunch. She still looked great but I looked like I led a hard life and the shame in my face showed. She walked over to me and didn’t even recognize me. I just shook my sons hand and told her it was nice meeting her. I heard in the distance her asking my son who I was and he just said some guy he met on the street. She scolded him for bothering to try to help a homeless man. I hail a cab and he drives me to my home. Oh yes my home. Well I told you that I was a simple man. The hundred dollars I kept for necessities was placed into a bank account and over twenty years grew to be a nice nest egg for my retirement. That along with stock options and bonuses well lets just say I am living very comfortably. My retirement benefits pay for my mortgage and clothes and other things we use in life. I have given orders to my lawyers to send each of my children their bank accounts of one hundred thousand each at the time of their twenty fifth birthdays. I also added that this money was to be used any way they saw fit. I pulled up in my limo to where my x wife lives now. It is a humble home without the frills I would have thought she needed. I guess our lives seldom turn out like we want to. I had my driver pull away. I never thought I would leard to love the finer things of life but I did. If only she would have waited for me to catch up with her we could have both avoided disenchantment in our lives. We could have lived the proverbial happily ever after. I guess she was in a rush to acquire the finer things. I was a simple man and if she asked me to I would come running back to her in a second. I know she would ask me to come home if she new how rich I was and that really wouldn’t be fair to me nor she now would it. Every Christmas I send her a little something in the mail. It isn’t much but I know it helps. I never sign the card or even put a return address on the envelope. I love to give now that I can. I know poor and I help out when I can. I even volunteer in the soup kitchen once a month. I know she is grateful for the money I send her every year. I know by the smile it brings to her face. Yes I am always there watching her and trust me it is all for selfish reasons. It makes me happy seeing her happy even till this very day. Well thanks for listening to my tale of woe. I have only one thing to ask of you before I go. Cherish the things you hold dearly to your heart. You may not have them for ever. The time you spend with those that you love may be all you have. Stop searching for the greener pastures and start watering your own front yard. One man wrote if you love something let it go and if it comes back it is truly yours. I say never let go it may not come back to you and the loss may just be too much to bear. Yes some may say I have everything I need now. Nice things and lots of financial stability. What I really need is the things I hold dearly to me. The love I had lost. Not just my wife but three beautiful children. I leave you now my friends and I only hope I opened your eyes to another side of things. I guess its time to be or not to be. It is no longer a question. I have decided. Goodbye. ------------ About the author Bob D. Caterino: My e-Book is out. I am proud to say that "Growing Up Goomba" Is selling slow but steady. Feedback is good. Thanks to all my fans. sold only at ebookmall.com. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino Email: bobdcaterino56@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. 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