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Dec. 25, 2004 JFK was dead. Dead as a doornail. The DNC knew he was dead? Well, I guess. Anyway, let me repeat (for you in Rio Linda, yes Rio Linda! Not Palm Beach Co. and I don't care who doesn't like it. Merry Christmas!) JFK was dead. Once again on of all the good days of the year, Christmas eve., Teddy, Jolly Johnny, Little John, the two Dicks, Tommy D. and Mickey M. (no not THAT Mickey) were all sitting glumly around the DNC sipping their high priced wine and nibbling their croissants gripping about their loses and licking their wounds. An intern (who didn't know any better) came in with the mail. Merry Christmas, gentlemen. One Dick looked up with a jaundiced eye (Teddy's eyes were bloodshot, but that's beside the point) and all intoned a hearty Bah Humbug! Christmas a humbug? Surely you don't mean that? The other Dick spoke up. Look kid. Hate to burst your bubble, but Merry Christmas isn't exactly PC. Personal Computer? No, politically correct. Geez, what do they teach you brats? Sorry! Teddy hiccuped. Tommy belched. Mickey scratched someplace not polite (but he doesn't care about that)and let out a curse. The first Dick continued. See kid we can't stand anything to do with the Religious Right. We gotta make them suffer like they made us suffer. But that's just sad. Just then the ghost of JFK walked in. He was bound with a chain made of Jolly Johnny's cast off Viet Nam medals. It was a ponderous chain. Well, not ponderous. Okay, it was really small, tiny. Teddy belched and looked up at it. Whatta you want? Much! Like what? Well, for one thing...quit invoking me every time you want someone to go along with you. And what the heck is this Happy Holidays jazz? Ma's gettin' really pissed. Mom? Is she dead? Oh, yeah. Anyway, what is it with you people? The Religious Right didn't defeat you clowns. The American people just didn't like your message. You gotta get rid of the old playbook. The playbook? NOOOOOOOO! Yes, it's old, worn out. You gotta come up with something fresh, or it's over. But it's sacred! About that time the ghost of FDR joined them. Look guys, I wrote that playbook. It's time is over. Get a grip and a life. It's over.You gotta give the people something fresh. Listen, I gotta go; Elenor's waiting, but think about it, huh? JFK started to leave too. Where are you going? Teddy asked this emploringly. Jackie, John John, and I promised to spend Christmas with Caroline. Gotta go. Merry Christmas gentlemen. Teddy sunk his head in his hands. I wish he wouldn't do that. By the way, has anyone seen Jesse? Yeah, said the intern, he's down in the bar getting drunk with Martin and Bobby. He's got his own spirits to worry about. ------------ About the author: Lee Zelhart is a proud graduate of McKendree College in Lebanon, Illinois and the father of two teens (one of which will be getting married in the next couple of years, maybe sometime in 2006) and the author of The Ghost of the Cavalier due out in 2005. Email: graphicsdoctor1@sbcglobal.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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