HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Dec. 23, 2004 WASHINGTON -- Last night, as has been the tradition since 1922, President Bush unplugged the lights and began removing holiday ornaments, marking the beginning of the festive "Dragging of the National Christmas Tree Out To The National Curb" winter gala. The star-studded affair blended world famous and local performers for the closing of the Christmas Pageant of Peace this season. Weather cooperated throughout the event, though temperatures fell from a daytime high of 42 to well below the freezing mark, and no one seemed to mind the brief gusts of snow-flecked wind. The U.S. Coast Guard band kicked off the gala with "White Christmas," followed by "White Chanukah," "White Kwanzaa" and "White Nothing (A Salute to Atheism)." Later, the crowd of chilled onlookers was entertained by the dancing "Snowdrifters," a cast of eight homeless men from a local shelter dressed as fat snowmen. Though the performers' movements were hampered by the costumes, the sight of the roly-poly snowmen trying to dance -- eerily reminiscent, some say, of Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) trying to tie his own shoes -- was highly entertaining. Even "Santa Claus," portrayed by television personality Al Roker, seemed unusually bemused. "With dance steps like theirs," said Roker, "you'd almost swear they were sober -- except for the one on the end with the yellow snow in his lap. He wasn't fooling anybody but himself." After a quick "Hail to the Chief" by the band, the President unplugged the 40-foot blue spruce's lights, plunging the crowd into post- yuletide darkness, symbolic, sources close to the President said, "of America during the Bill Clinton Administration." The President added that the nation should consider getting an artificial tree next year. While Bush removed lights and ornaments from the tree in preparation for the its subsequent placement on the National Curb, legendary tenor Placido Domingo belted out two unknown songs in what onlookers assumed was Italian. Domingo added an impromptu acapella rendition of "Rumpshaker" which spokespeople attribute to the event's free eggnog and the great tenor not knowing that the microphone was still on. The National Christmas Tree-Out-To-The-National- Curb tradition dates back to President Calvin Coolidge in 1923. Though asked repeatedly why he chose to host such an unusual event, Coolidge never provided an explanation -- giving rise to his nickname "Silent Cal." As the 14th president to host the unplugging gala, Clinton hosted the event numerous times. However, White House historians said President Franklin Roosevelt's record of 10 consecutive unpluggings will not likely be broken unless the Constitution is amended. Event organizers were quick to invite the public to the upcoming "National Sawmillfest." The celebrity extravaganza, sponsored each year by the National Lumber Association, honors the National Christmas Tree by shredding it into pulp and producing cardboard signs and boxes for the Nation's homeless. "It's a win-win situation," said a spokesman. "The nation's homeless get new boxes and 'Will Work For Food' signs, the president gets rid of the fire hazard on the National Curb and we are guaranteed another performance by the 'Snowdrifters.' God rest ye merry homeless men." ------------ About the author: Doug Hecox is an accomplished stand-up comedian whose work has appeared in everything from Reader's Digest to the Washington Monthly. His latest book, "Graze Expectations," is available widely. For more information, visit Doug at www.dougfun.com. Email: doug@dougfun.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
