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Aug. 30, 2005 I read the comments about Natalee Holloway and (today) Cindy Sheehan. I read these essays because I have two children, and a mother's pain at the death of her child makes me praise God that my two are fine, at least for now. I hope that the Holloway/Twitty's find their daughter, and I understand how Sheehan's life has been destroyed by the murder of the child that she nourished and loved. But I am horrified by the amount of mother (female) criticism I am reading on this site, and I wonder how anyone, without experiencing the death of their own child, could possibly ignore the depth of despair a mother/father feels when she/he loses a beloved child. But that is the problem...the critics don't seem to care about personal tragedy, and act as though a child's death doesn't matter; after all, it happens every day, so why are Twitty and Sheehan making such a big fuss? Let me explain the phenomena of childbirth for those who have never experienced it, and hopefully make maternal grief more understandable. When I found out I was pregnant, I worried if I would be a good mother. I didn't feel anything for the bump in my stomach, and I wasn't happy about what was happening to my body. In my heart I wondered if I'd love the bump when it was born. I took one look at my son and my heart changed forever. It twisted, jumped, and did an unfamiliar dance in my chest. I literally HEARD an indescribable sound as my heart opened channels that had been, until then, dry and sealed. It was a physical response that I had no control over whatsoever. I looked at the tiny bald head, balled fists, a scrunched face, and felt true, unconditional love for the first time in my life. Sure, I had loved my mother, brother, relatives, men and friends, but my body physically opened tracks in my virgin heart that had never been touched. That love has never wavered and has only become stronger during the years that I raised my son, and he is now 21 years old. I love him more than breath, more than my own life, more than grits. And I love grits. So I admire Beth Twitty for refusing to give up and accept the fevered anguish of a lost child. She is a strong woman who will not stop until her daughter is found. Yes, she has resources that many do not have, but alledged prejudicial treatment has no argument in this tragedy. A mother will do whatever is in her power to find her lost child and bring that child home. Although I understand those who feel powerless when their child disappears, I am ecstatic that the Holloway/Twitty's are making a strong statement that their child is not a throwaway; they will not give up until the truth is known. Their fight will assist minorities and others who lose a precious child but do not have the ability or resources to engage the media and other attention. But whether it does or not, who are we to judge what a mother suffers? How can we criticize anyone who searches for justice and knowledge about what happened to a beloved child? Wouldn't we do the same, if it was our child who disappeared without a trace? As far as Cindy Sheehan goes, I no longer read the newspaper accounts of what is happening there. And I've never been a political person--I trust our government to protect us and make the right choices for Americans and our way of life. I realize that I have been negligent in that regard. But a mother's love for her child should not be dismissed, and no one can understand how Cindy feels unless they have walked in her shoes. She chose an unpopular stance when she decided to revolt against a war that had no basis in fact but took her son's life. Whether or not he joined and fought from his own strong beliefs does not diminish the fact that his mother was not allowed to make his choices, and is suffering today from his untimely death. He was an adult in the eyes of the law. Even though our children are not allowed to consume alcoholic beverages, they are old enough to die for our country. 'Nuff said. Cindy has the right (this is America, after all, with freedom of speech) to suffer in whatever way a mother's heart demands. I cannot imagine how her own family has deserted her. She is not a woman who is searching, after the death of her child, for infamy any more than Beth Twitty is enjoying her fifteen minutes of fame. Give these mothers a break! Grow a conscience and the ability to empathize with a heart that is smote with unbearable pain. Put yourself in their place and consider what you would do if your child disappears or is killed in action. Do you see Bush's girls in the midst of war? Of course not. It is so much easier when someone else's child is lost. ------------ Email Rebeez: rebeez@cox.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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