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Aug. 22, 2005 Jabba the Hut, the drooling, slug-like villain from the Star War series is completely disgusting, but even a monster like him has feelings. An outraged Jabba called a press conference to squelch rumors that he and Jerry Falwell were twins separated at birth. Jabba conceded that there is a striking resemblance between the two, but he pointed out some differences. "Jerry Falwell has two more chins than I do, I have four hearts, whereas it hasn't been proven that Falwell has a single one." Jabba noted that there are also political differences between the two: Falwell has a thing against illegal aliens, but I think aliens from every galaxy should be treated with respect and dignity. Jabba admitted that he shares the same religious philosophy with Falwell: "When Falwell attacks homosexuals, women and liberals, he is serving the same dark force that I am." When asked for his response Falwell said: "Jabba is going to hell, along with gays, abortionists, pagans, feminists, Democrats, movie stars, union members, Muslims, Catholics, Jews, ACLU members, Tinky Winky, Hillary Clinton, Christian Scientists, Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, Jerry Springer, Larry King, Lil' Kim, the Desperate Housewives and anyone who believes in the Big Bang. ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger and has written over 100 articles for Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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