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Aug. 19, 2005 It's been a long time since I wrote for Useless Knowledge, but since then I haven't been very angry at celebrities, who in my opinion need to drop dead. I've written articles about Eminem and his "crackhead" fans. I've written articles about how big of a slut Paris Hilton is. BTW, nice satire story, Franklin D. Hayes. My target now is the buck-tooth, bubbly, blonde, slutty and ignorant bimbo named Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson is the whore that has more maritial problems than a redneck couple who live in a trailer, have 6 kids, and fight over how the wife is cheating on her husband with Wilbur the next door neighbor. Jessica Simpson CAN'T sing. She certainly can't act either. Jessica Biel was supposed to play the part of Daisy Dukes, which she turned down because she's a smart woman. Instead the role was given to a fraud who has the public believe that she is a Christian, intelligent, and from the south. Being a lady from the south, I can tell you that Jessica Simpson is not a traditional southerner. Jessica Simpson is a moron, and while a lot of people may believe that people from the south are ignorant, celebrities from California are even MORE ignorant. I couldn't believe my ears when the dumb broad couldn't figure out that "Chicken by the Sea" is tuna. "Is it chicken or tuna?" TRY READING THE LABEL YOU DUMB SLUT! What gets me is how everyone, including dumbass Eminem, believe that Jessica Simpson is a beautiful woman. If you think loose women are beautiful, than saying Jessica Simpson is indeed beautiful. I feel sorry for her husband, but he's too damn stupid to realize that Jessica Simpson is a whore. Have you seen her music video lately? I'm surprised she didn't make Willie Nelson ejaculate in his pants since her FAT ASS was rubbing all over his limp penis. The most embarrasing moment in Jessica Simpson's career was when she acted out her role in Dukes of Hazzard. I didn't watch the movie, because I actually like movies that are WORTH watching. How did this movie get 30 million dollars I'll never know. It just proves that there are 30 million morons in the world. I remember watching Ebert and Roeper do a review on the movie. "Jessica Simpson, who should probably keep her day job, is Daisy Dukes; I'm Richard Roeper." "And I'm Roger Ebert, and I don't even think she should keep her day job." That is sad when a guy who does nothing but watch movies snuffs all over Jessica Simpson's name. I remember watching the previews and I couldn't understand what she meant when she kicked a man over and then saying, "that's special, sir." WHAT THE F***?! What does that mean? Despite that Dukes of Hazzard went to number 1, I can't help but wonder if this Jessica Simpson bullstuff is going to end. I hope it does, because the crap has got to stop. The reality show, the stupid comedy show, the music career, and the movie career has got to end. The fact is Jessica Simpson is about as talented as Paris Hilton, or Britney Spears, or Tara Reid. She has no talent, except maybe "working her back" as she says. Yes, Jessica, we know you work your back, and you're also on your back a lot too. Jessica Simpson needs to go back to her "southern" home, yeah right, and try to see if she can get her job back to the Gloryhole, because that is the ideal job for her. If you don't know what the Gloryhole is, then I suggest you look it up, but let's just say it's right up her "undercarriage." ------------ About the author Megan Williams: I'm from Memphis, Tennessee, and I am a school teacher who teaches history. Email: redheadmegan@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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