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Aug. 17, 2005 Jerry Falwell held a press conference condemning cigars as "Satan's instrument for leading young men to hell." "A cigar is a phallic symbol that prepares a young man for a life of sexual depravity.", the Lynchburg evangelist warned. "I've slipped and smoked a cigar or two, but I never inhaled.", Falwell admitted. "To this day whenever I see a cigar, it reminds me of summer camp, when I tasted the devil's forbidden fruit." "Even when a cigar is just a cigar, it can still be used for depraved purposes, witness Slick Willy turning Monica Lewinsky into a cigar humidor." Falwell demonstrated how cigars can pose a choking hazard, by expertly swallowing a long stogie down his throat. Jerry Falwell ended his press conference by vehemently denying that he had been spotted at a gay bar smoking a cigar and dancing to YMCA. ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger and has written over 100 articles for Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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