HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Aug. 11, 2005 The same week I lost Melody, I almost lost Dan. He was running fever between 101.4 to 101.9. He went into the bathroom and all of a sudden I heard a thud. He had blacked out and his feet were sticking out into the hallway. Stewart, our cat, beat me to the bathroom. I climbed on top of him, screaming his name for 45 seconds before he regained consciousness. He rolled over, and under his head was the largest pool of blood that could only be imagined in some bad horror film. I quickly ran and got a fresh towel and rolled him back onto his back and told my oldest son to stay in the bathroom with him talking to him while I drove 2 miles away to grab my personal assistant, Greg. On the way back, I dialed 9-1-1 and calmly told them what happened. I had beaten the ambulance by 5 minutes and by that time, I was in the floor of the bathroom with Dan’s head in my lap and the towel pressed hard against the back of his head to the sounds of his protesting. The paramedics took him from my arms and loaded him into the ambulance on a backboard, with a neck brace and IV. I sat in my Grand Prix ready to go speeding into the night to the hospital they where about to take him. One paramedic told me to not follow them as they were going to be running with lights and sirens, I told him to not worry, I had my own route to the hospital. They took Dan to the C/T Scan and I went out into my car to smoke and listen to the CD player and just relax in the night air. I knew that at that moment that there was nothing I could do but worry. The song that came on was the Smashing Pumpkins hit song, "Tonight Tonight." Now, I have heard this song many times, but that night I REALLY listened to the lyrics and this is what each line meant to me on that scary night. (Dan is fine now and is home with staples in the back of his head making him a real "Metal Head" he he!) "Time is never time at all," we take time for granted and in reality we waste time on worry rather than enjoyment of the moment. "You can never leave without leaving a piece of youth," everyday we leave a piece of our youth behind whether we want to or not. "And our lives are forever changed," without change, there is no maturity and growth. "We will never be the same," we are not the same people we are the day before, each day a part of us changes with or without us knowing. "The more you change, the less you feel," some say that the youth feel more emotionally than adults do. "Believe, believe in me, believe," everyone needs another human being to believe in or you feel totally alone in this earth. "That life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain," everyday is different than the day before and if you want to change something, each day is a rebirth and the ability to change a part of your life you are unhappy with. "We’re not the same, we’re different tonight," with so much that happened to Dan and I that week, we were changed people, we were not the same people we had been the weekend before or even the Monday before. We had started to take each other for granted and what happened when we lost Melody and then when Dan had his accident and was slipping in and out of consciousness, I thought I was going to loose him too. I couldn’t stand the thought of loosing the man I loved on top of loosing his baby. "Tonight, so bright, tonight," that particular night, the stars were so bright that not even the city pollution could kill all of them from shinning through to me to see. "And you know you’re never sure," I second-guess every tiny thing I do, from dressing to writing. "But you’re sure you could be right," some of my decisions I have made in my life I made and I knew at that moment that they were the correct decisions. "If you held yourself up to the light," I’ll be the first to admit I need to feel more self-esteem of myself. "And the embers never fade in your city by the lake," Chicago is on the shores of Lake Michigan and the downtown area is always lit. "The place where you were born," never forget your hometown, no matter where you live as an adult for that hometown contains your history and memories of childhood. "Believe, believe in me, believe," I’ll be there for you through the good times and the bad, no matter how bad things are. "In the resolute urgency of now," at the time, urgency was the foremost thing in my life. "And if you believe there’s not a chance tonight," I believed there was not going to be a chance I was going to loose Dan that night nor any other night. "Tonight, so bright, tonight," this night is maybe the night you need to have someone to believe in you to get through the night and the stars shinning bright gave me inspiration to know that I believed in him and he believed in me and together we would get through this latest crisis. "We’ll crucify the insincere tonight," together we were going to stand against anything and anyone. "We’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight," this night, nothing was going to go wrong with the tow of our souls intertwined. "We’ll find a way to offer up the night, tonight," live for now for you don’t know what tomorrow brings. "The indescribable moments of your life tonight," can you really describe every single moment of your life and the feeling that went with it of every night of your life? "The impossible is possible tonight," I knew that no matter how low his respiration was nor how high his temperature would get, I was not going to loose the man I loved with all my heart. "Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight." Mutual belief in each other can bring about any dream, any goal that is conceived. By believing that the Higher Powers would bring the strength and knowledge to the doctors that were working to save Dan’s life, I would keep him and not loose him the same week I lost Melody. Right now, it’s very late Monday Night and Dan is home, sleeping next to me and I am glancing over at him and thanking my lucky stars that "Tonight Tonight" I have him home to kiss and hug on. So for me, the impossible is possible tonight, I have the man I love and adore, who believes in me and I believe in him next to me once again as I write columns. ------------ About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, "Night Falls on Chicago." The first two chapters can be viewed at http://www.KayceeNilson.com. Besides writing columns for Useless-Knowledge, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, "From the Mind of a Vampire", and "I'll Love You Til You Die." If you have enjoyed what you read, or would like to leave Kaycee a message, please visit her message board at http://www.KayceeNilson.com/Board Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
