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Aug. 9, 2005 As I write this article, my four year-old son is zipping through the house wearing his vampire cape and ski mask. He has little orange safety cones from his miniature police station over his fingers for claws. He has a wild imagination. Wes can swim underwater without holding his nose, recite the alphabet and spell his full name in English and sign language. His bike is still a little too big for him, but he can ride it uphill and downhill. He’s driven by a motor and won’t sit still long enough to learn how to write his own name or hear a story at the library’s story hour. When I visited my doctor a few months ago, he tried not to smile as my son bounced off all four of his office walls. “So, uh…when are you getting him tested for ADD?” I’m convinced my son has it, and I’m sure the topic will come up once he starts school. I will have him diagnosed, not so he can start on meds, but as a first step in managing the disorder. Therapeutically. I will not medicate the boy. My doctor said I should reconsider my position. If the disorder interferes with his schooling, especially if he has learning disabilities, he’ll have self-esteem and confidence issues later in life. He might self-medicate with street drugs or alcohol, or have run-ins with the law and wind up in jail. Do I want that for my son? The answer, of course, is no, but I respectfully disagree that having ADD dooms him to have self-esteem issues. Kids with ADD from previous generations developed issues because they were slapped with esteem-boosting labels such as hyperactive, lazy, crazy, lackadaisical, immature, bad, wild, chatty, and stupid. I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, a few years ago. As a kid, I always knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t put finger on it and neither could anyone else. Teachers said I was a bright, but lazy student who only excelled in subjects that interested me. One teacher called me “short-circuited” for being the only girl in the whole third grade who fidgeted through class. My own mother didn’t know what to do with me, and she unloaded me on her sisters and friends whenever she could-and later on my dad when they divorced. Yeah…I developed self-esteem issues, but part of me is grateful they didn’t know about ADD back then. My mother would have put me on Ritalin and robbed me the opportunity of learning to manage the disorder (or overcompensating) as part of maturing. The drugs people take to manage ADD works very well as far as increasing your concentration and keeping you focused to perform tedious tasks. But I’m against giving them to children, at least before they’re in high school when they can have a say in their medical decisions. Kids need to learn how to deal with who they are and become comfortable in their own skin. What kind of message are we sending them by giving them drugs? ‘You’re a pain in the a**, and no one can stand you, so here…take your pill?’ Or, is this some parents’ way of self-medicating? Drugs that treat ADD can be personality altering in children, especially when their dosages increase during growth spurts. Also, the primary ingredient in two of the most popular drugs, Ritalin and Adderall, is speed, a calcium-thief. Do their growing bones need this? What if your child has an irregular heartbeat or murmur, especially the kind that could be outgrown? Could these drugs aggravate or prevent the condition from healing itself? (A new drug, Strattera, doesn’t have speed, but I hear it isn’t very effective.) Another thing, the military won’t accept recruits who have been medicated for ADD past twelve years old. Tell that to your teenage boy who has been dreaming of flying fighter jets since he’s learned how to talk. Children with ADD are often very intelligent, intuitive, creative, risk-takers with tons of energy, and an eye for “the big picture,” but they flounder when performing tedious tasks or ones that require lots of concentration. The ones who don’t end up in jail grow up to be successful businesses owners and managers, or seek high-stimuli professions such as doctors, actors, racecar drivers, and stockbrokers. I respect teachers because they have one of the most challenging jobs in our country right now, but unfortunately, they push to have their ADD kids medicated for their own survival. Their classes keep getting larger while their rights to discipline and manage their students diminish. This is why parents must take control instead of following the school’s lead. They have an agenda. Start by accepting your children for who they are. If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, lucky you! Your biggest challenge will be finding outlets for all his energy. These kids tend to do well in sports and don’t mind being put to work! Let them mow the grass and plant your gardens. Give them jobs that are slightly above their age level and don’t worry about them failing. (Worrying about failure is toxic and contagious!) They won’t let you down, and their self-esteems will soar at a job well done. Also, accept that your parenting styles probably need to some fine-tuning because raising a child with ADD is a completely different ball game. These kids need higher doses of consistency, organizational skills, responsibility, and at times, you must sit on them to get things done and provide extra love and patience. Many kids with ADD have at least one parent with it, too, so they can provide valuable insight in creating an ADD-friendly home. (Check out this website: www.chadd.org.) I look forward to giving my son the gift of looking him in the eye and telling him he’s not crazy, but has inherited a real and manageable disorder from his mom. As I continue learning to manage it myself, I will pass things on to him. Later on, if he wants the meds, we’ll talk. ------------ About the author: Karyn Hughes has a fiction book published by Authorhouse entitled, Scattered Dreams, which is about a newly single mother who battles ADHD. Hughes is also looking for an agent since she has six other finished novels and one more in the works. All Hughes’ novels are related and could be part of a series. Email: Karynlilly1@comcast.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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