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Aug. 9, 2005 Jerry Falwell, the fearless moral crusader, who outed Tinky Winky a few years ago, is still on the alert for subversive gay cartoon characters. In a press release, Falwell has outed Donald Duck as a "gay emissary from the very pit of hell." "If it sashays like a gay duck, and it quacks like a gay duck, then it must be a gay duck." Jerry Falwell complained that for years Donald Duck has brazenly paraded in public and on film "butt nekkid" 'Why have we allowed this limp-wristed pervert to appear in public wearing only a shirt and a jaunty cap"? Falwell revealed that his spies have videotaped Donald Duck attending a Broadway show with the AFLAC duck. "Proof positive that Donald is as gay as Elton John and Richard Simmons put together." When a reporter asked Falwell, "Are you sure Donald is gay?", Falwell replied, "Duh, he wears a sailor's outfit with no drawers," When a newsman asked Donald Duck for a response he said: Quack, quack, Falwell is a quack. I'm grateful for the tenacity and courageousness of Jerry Falwell. We need more brave men of God like him to warn us of the "Vast Gay Cartoon Conspiracy To Undermine Straight America." ------------ About the author: Robert Paul Reyes is a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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