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Apr. 18, 2005 I've just come off my third cycle of chemo. I walked into the house. It looks like a crime scene. The only problem here is I know the Perp... my son Wesley. Wesley isn't bad, or evil, just a teenager. He drops things where he is. I just would like to walk through the house without feeling like I'm wading through a flood. I don't recall my daughter being such a slob, but I haven't been in her room lately. Okay, I'm a great big craven coward. I don't want surprises jumping out at me from a dark corner. Which, of course, leads me back to the living room. The little fellow seems to be confused. He evidently thinks the floor is a trash can. I see empty juice bottles, food packages, wrappers, and fruit peels. I know he wasn't raised in a barn. We've never had a barn as far as I know. My parents had a barn, but it was torn down long before my son came along. I'd like a little help with the house. Is that a crime? My son equates me with Hitler if I ask him to do one dish, or pick up one piece of trash. I don't even look like Hitler. Actually, I'm very handsome. So how am I like some psychopathic dictator wanting a clean house? The chemo already makes me naueous; why should my house? I don't deserve this treatment. Yes, I realize teenage boys are naturally callous and slovenly. I was one myself. The difference is I had to help clean the house and I certainly wouldn't have dropped trash on the floor. My mother would have...well, YOU KNOW! Not to mention what my dad would have said. I suppose I grew up very sheltered. My parents didn't allow us to trash the house and my grandparents were clean people as well. My mother in law is a clean freak. My wife missed the boat yeah, but she also missed the cooking gene. Maybe that's the problem. Still it isn't as if I haven't tried to teach the wee laddie right. I've yelled, screamed, whined, cried, pled, and tried to lead by example. I've offered bribes. Whatever I could think of I've tried. Still my house is a mess and that is a crime. So, I'd like to know, where's CSI? ------------ About the author: Lee Zelhart is a proud graduate of McKendree College and the author of The Ghost of the Cavalier. He is the father of two children, one of which tells him he will be a grandpa next September. Both first issues are greatly anticipated and more details to be released later. Email: graphicsdoctor1@sbcglobal.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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