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Apr. 1, 2005 Britney Spears is losing her touch. I know she has many fans but I would say her losing battle, trying to hold on to her fifteen minutes of fame is almost over. She hasn’t made a tune in a while and I guess that’s due to the fact that she is trying to create publicity for herself. Hey Brit, leave that to the experts and while you are at it, leave everything else to the experts also. Leave the singing, dressing and marriage to the experts also. Now its time for a commercial break. Oops I did nothing again. Hello my name is Brittney Spears and I am here to talk about feminine protection. No, no it’s not what you think; I am talking about self preservation here. If you find yourself falling to the wayside, like I am just head for the tabloids. Yes the tabloids will give you that heads up you are looking for. Yes I made my millions like most of you have not so I am here to tell you how. Have you ever wondered how I made these millions? I’m here now to give you my many secrets in my new book called “Brittney, WHY” so listen up. 1: Singing, if you feel the need to be a singer all you need is the Britney Mike. The Britney Mike is something I invented. It is a long mike that seems to attach itself to my huge melon shaped head. Now it had a huge bally thingy at the end that hides my mouth so you cannot see me lip-syncing. I never did know how to dance and in my book I can tell you how I do it on my two videos that have been wowing my fan for years. If you act now you will also receive my short book written by someone else called “Give em what they want” This is a book on where I came from and where I am going too. It tells you all about my family tree. Did you know that one of my ancestors was a writer? Yes his name was Shaker Spears. I think Shaker was his nick name because he was a great dancer also. My uncle Chucka Spears told me all about my family tree and now I am passing it all on to someone that cares. If you act now I will tell you how I keep my name alive. Hey if it is silly, stupid, sexy or even ugly they want then that’s what they will get because I have all of these things and more but you will have to buy the book. Yes for only nineteen ninety five, that price of most of my singles you too can see just what makes me tick. Oh I hate ticks, but I love ticket sales. I will be in your home town lip syncing at a coliseum near you, so you can say “Oops she did it again” and now back to the reasons I am talking to you in the first place. So as you all know I have been the target of bad press as of late and I am going to set one thing straight here and now. Yes I may lip sync, have implants, wear loads of high dollar make up, wear fake eyelashes and lie about how famous I really am but I am a real person. I have feelings too. If you love me like I know I do then support everything that I do so I can maintain the success I need to stay in my tax bracket. That’s about all I have to say except for where did all the boy bands go? ------------ About the author: Bob D Caterino is a writer that we all either hate or love. His work can be found at http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/163906-ebook.htm. My website: www.geocities.com/bdcaterino He hopes the death threats will stop. Its only words he uses. Laugh and lighten up will ya? Email: bobdcaterino56@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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