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Mar. 16, 2011  Remember what we heard time and again in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous about anger? I recall it clearly and that was that anger was better left to those that could handle it. I used to ask myself who were those people? How can anyone handle anger? The answer is that most will handle it badly. The lesson for me was that alcoholics would handle it even worse than any earthling would. Heck we could have power driven argument all by ourselves. Anger is an emotion that doesn’t necessarily allow you to get control over it like being in a bad mood or being impatient or intolerant can be. We usually get so fully associated with the feeling that comes along with anger we can’t disassociate ourselves from it. I liken it to a deep trance and it takes more than a snap of the fingers to break the spell.
So what might be the formula for handling anger when it gets that vice like grip over our central nervous system? Of course like the cliché of running away from a fight in order to live another day, lies a clue in how to handle anger. If we can avoid anger and have sensory acuity that is approaching is the first tact. The second is never to initiate it, which in itself takes a discipline we have already started when we put down the drink. The third and there is always a third in any formulaic criteria, is that when we recognize it beginning in another, we excuse ourselves because we have a call from our alcoholic cousin that has a history of run ins with the law and we have to rush off. We apologize for the inconvenience and promise to come back tomorrow and address the issues to their complete satisfaction. Hint- usually by having an angry man wait one day will ease some of the power of their argument and you just might still get an earful albeit with less distortion. But I give you a fourth, and that is if you cannot leave the place where the argument will ensue, you respond to every breath of fire with a cooling always-quieter wind from your mouth. What you will witness is that the aggressor’s volume of speech will automatically get lower because all he can hear is his own voice. Want more? Ask me for part VIII.
I seem to see life through the lens of metaphors that show up whenever I am moved or connected with the deeper meaning of life in front of me. My style humorous in one layer can move you to tears or have you nodding "yes" as you sidle up to the emotions in you. My explorations delve into the human condition as it relates to fragmented relationships, blended family challenges and any form of the addictions that plague us. I won't try to tell you what to do or give you 10 easy steps or even point you in the direction I think you should be headed. Rather it is my wish that you take longer looks at the areas of your life you only gave fleeting glances to.
Email: jackbriant@mac.com
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