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What's In A Name?

By Benjamin F. Kaye
Apr. 30, 2011

My cousin’s boss had a baby a few months ago. When I heard the child’s name, I was really impressed by the originality and beauty of it. That got me thinking: If I had a child, what name would I give my little one? Would it be a traditional name, such as Susan or Joe? Maybe I would want a child with a unique name. But to come up with a name that really stands out as original or special - that would be the challenge. Or so I thought.

I realized while walking through my humble home that I have plenty of baby names all around me. These are the names that I have come up with:

Windex
Tomato Soup (for a child who wants to be a blues singer)
Draino
Clam Chowder (for a child who wants to be a jazz singer)
Glade
Aqua Velva
Westclox
Gillette
Oxo
Duracell
Theraflu
Cottenelle
Robitussin
Olay
Ajax
Tilex
Centrum
Listerine
Kleenex
Mennen
Thermacare
Enamel
Bose
Kodak
Vaio
Brillo
Lysol
Pine-sol (would be a great combination for twins)
Samsung
Sony
Drill Bit
Shop-Vac (definitely boys’ names)

With names like those, what kid wouldn’t stand out in a crowd? I can just imagine my child’s friends calling out: “Hey Drill Bit! What’s up?”

But what is in a name after all? It might give a child a unique start, but would it guarantee a unique life? That question makes one think long and hard. So here are my suggestions to increase the probability that a child will grow up to become a special person – and have a unique impact on the world. Be warned however, these suggestions might prove utterly useless, since they are coming from the mouth of one who has never been a parent before.

Raise your child with lots of love. Make sure they pass that love on to others. One doesn’t have to know the crime statistics to realize that there is a severe shortage of love. There is ample evidence in family courts and workplaces throughout our country.

Instill in your child a wholesome curiosity and a genuine passion for learning. Too often, education stops when you grab hold of the fancy looking paper. However, there are lessons all around us, waiting to be discovered. The more one learns, the more open-minded they are and the more flexible they are.

Teach your child to be a good listener. This will win them friends. Another benefit will be learning from others’ mistakes! Too many people end up in Disasterville because they simply do not listen.

Finally, don’t squelch your child’s unique character. We all want our children to fit in; that’s natural. No one would want to have their son or daughter destined to a life of loneliness due to eccentricities that others cannot bear and that are beyond repair. However, each life is a miracle of originality. The unique combination of your genes and your child’s environment produce a symphony that has never been heard before – and will never be heard again. So, let the music play – just make sure the orchestra stays on key.

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About the author: I am a 42 year old dreamer who was born in Buffalo, NY. During those 42 years I have earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from The State University of New York at Buffalo (UB) and a Master’s Degree in Social Work from Syracuse University. I currently spend my days working for Uncle Sam.

Further reading:

If you are interested in seeing what else my mind is capable of, you can visit me at www.scribid.com. I have two books of poetry, “Play-Doh from Heaven” and “They Came to My Door” awaiting you there. I also have several short stories that are sitting on that web site, daring you to read them.

Email Benjamin: princexaven@gmail.com


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