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July 13, 2010 Dear Cavalier Fans and Cry-baby Owner: “LeBron James” is the title of the latest chapter in Cleveland ’s version of “The Book of Counted Sorrows.” From the Fumble, to The Drive, The Shot, Jose Lima’s World Series Blow-Up, the loss of Manny Ramirez, Cliff Lee and C.C. Sabathia, etc. Cleveland has a history of sports losses that makes the misery of the Chicago Cubs look like a dynasty. Internet writer poised to.. Now that Lebron has signed with the Miami Heat, your owner whines publicly about how he “quit” against the Celtics in the playoffs. If that’s true, why did you want such a player back, huh? You can burn all the number 23 jerseys you want, but all you’re doing is castimg a pall over already smoggy skies; and ironically, I am sure that next season, Mr. James is going to come back and burn YOU. Come on, do you really think this moribund roster from the Island of Misfit Toys is goimng to get a ring before Lebron, D-Wade and Chris Bosh? If so, there must be a heavy dose of hallucinogens in those smoggy skies above your city. He’s goine, he ain’t coming back, get over it. It was iunevitable. Cleveland is a loser city not just in sports, but in business (see STEEL INDUSTRY DEMISE), low on the list of tourist destinations, a financial quagmire and a celebrity Siberia . Cursed? No. A lousy place to live or root for anything? You betcha. LeBron is a young man who looked around midway through game five in this years NBA playoff series with the Celtics and realized that bringing in Shaquille O’Neal was a waste, and that there was no sidekick who could step up his game if he had a bad game. He simply saw what every other knowledgeable basketball fan saw: He was Michael surrounded by fourteen Titos. He quit on a team that looked good on paper, but in reality stood no chance. They had no heart. They were a collection of parts from expensive cars, but was powered by a Yugo engine. It’s like the who’s better debate—LeBron or Kobe ? LeBron’s team won the most games during the regular season. Kobe ’s team won the most games in the post-season. The Cavs were the moist popular clique at the ball, but their “king” got a pie in the face and the Kpbe was again crowned a champion. Kobe had another star at his side in Paul Gasol, a defensive stopper in Ron Artest and a steady, experienced ranch hand in Derek Fisher. LeBron had the overmatched Mo Williams, an uninspired and running on fumes Shaquille O’Neal, and a man known more for his strange haircut than his clutch play in Anderson Varejao. LeBron did what was best for his career and legacy. Do you think he’s losing sleep over how Clevelanders feel about him? If the Heat stalwarts stay healthy, James will probably win multiple rings, benefiting from the same blueprint laid out by the Bulls, Spurs, Pistons, Lakers and Celtics: 3 big guns and 12 role players+a championship. For all of you boohooing over your brewskies, the idea that he’s “selfish,” well, LeBron is 25. I don’t know too many persons in that age group who don’t think “I’m going to do what’s best for me.” As for him being a “traitor,” you’re wrong again. He went to where he believed he could immediately build and cement his olegacy as a champion. He got you to the finals once (s007), which is a plateau 24 other teams have failed to reach since. William Devaughan said it best, “Be thankful for what you got.” And Dan Gilbert, O Danny boy, please shut up. You should have known what you were getting when you saw LeBron and his crew working more on choreographed pre-game stunts instead of talking about what they needed to do to become champions. You could have checked those players, as should have coach Mike Woodson (now fired), and the team’s elder, Mr. O’Neal? Gilbert sounds like a schoolgirl going through her first bout of menstrual cramps. Get over it, smart guy. You are the owner of a team that CANNOT bring in a high-oriced free agent; that can’t get any better before next season, especially with other teams (the Celtics, Heat and Bulls) getting stronger. LeBron simply bailed out on a sinking ship. He made it clear that it was about rings (notice the use of the plural) and the fact that he, Wade and Bosh had discussed the idea of someday playing together since they first came into the league. What can a young man do if he can’t dream? There will be no fallout from this. LeBron is probably the most marketable athlete in America . He’s not Tiger Woods cheating on his wife, nor is Kobe being falsely accused of rape. His name is a worldwide brand that might very well make him a billionaire by the time his Heat contract expires. So quit crying Cleveland . You’ll get a top five lottery pick next year and yuou won’t have Shaq’s mammoth contract to deal with. You can trade all your good parts and start over with a real team, like the Oklahoma City Thumnder is doing. It’s not the first time you’ve lost the big one and trust me, it won’t be the last. And good luck, LeBron. You’re going to need it if your team does anything less than winning it all right now. And now, I close with a song that I think is most fitting, with apologies to Seth McFarlane, pr whoever wrote the them to The Cleveland Show. The REAL Cleveland Show (Sung to the tune of “Theme from The Cleveland Show”) Out here in Cleveland town We’re all singin’ the blues Like a size-16 feet clown Wearing size seven shoes There’s The Drive, and The Fumble The Blow-Up and The Shot Our Cavs empire’s crumbled Since Lebron said, “I’m re-signing…NOT!” IYes, we’re the place to be If all of your sports teams blow We’ll go nineteen and sixty-three ’Cause we have Lebron no mo’. (Insert laugh track) ------------ About the author: Timothy N. Stelly is a poet, essayist, novelist and screenwriter from northern California. His novel, HUMAN TRIAL, is the first part of a sci-fi trilogy and is available from Amazon.com, allthingsthatmatterpress.com and in e-book format at mobipocket.com. HUMAN TRIAL II: ADAM'S WAR is now available. Stelly also has a short story included in the AIDS-themed anthology, THE SHATTERED GLASS EFFECT, due out in February 2010. His story, SNAKES IN THE GRASS, Is a tale of love, betrayal and its deadly consequences. Reviews of HUMAN TRIAL can be read at amazon.com Visit me at: http://www.myspace.com/pittwit website: http://www.stellyhumantrial.com Email: stellbread@yahoo.com 
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