All of this friend talk got me thinking about what it means to be a true friend…the type of friend you’ll grow old with and share “remember when” stories with when your memory is going, the type of friend you can call at three a.m. with a crisis and know they’ll pass up sleep to be there in your time of need. Am I a three a.m. friend?

There are several types of friends out there. The person you can always count on for a “good time,” the friend who pops in and out of your life and catches up with you once or twice a year, the friend who uses you as her psychologist, and then there’s the friend who you can count on in life or death, who you know always has your back no matter what. So what kind of friend are you? Let’s take a look to see the characteristics of various types of friends.

First on our list is the good-time friend. This person can be hard to get a hold of, but when you do finally connect you can guarantee fun. This is the person you go out on the town with, but rarely do you do anything other than the social scene. The conversation may revolve around boys or fashion more than it does about life issues, so the level of intimacy is shallow. Will that person be there when you have a terrible day and just need to talk? Probably not. She’s called a good-time friend because she wants a good time, not because she wants to drudge through your problems. This is not a three a.m. friend.

Moving on, we come to the gotta-run friend. This person tends to make fleeting appearances in your life by calling once in a blue moon, sometimes needing something. Even if she doesn’t need anything, the conversation is usually on her terms and rarely is there a give-and-take. With this friend conversation usually focuses on catching up, but when it’s your turn to talk the conversation may be cut short. This is not a three a.m. friend.

Next we have the God-help-me friend. This person has more drama than Days of Our Lives (is that show even still airing?), and to her you are her personal counselor, psychologist, medical doctor, and little else. When you connect, which is usually when she’s in the middle of a crisis, it’s complaint after complaint as you console her. She rarely asks how you’re doing, and when she does the conversation will inevitably turn back to her. God help you with this friend, for she tends to be exhausting. When you’re done talking to this friend, you may need a counselor of your own! This is not a three a.m. friend.

Finally we come to our gotta-have-her friend. This is the friend that we all need, and this is the friend we should all be. This person is there when you need her, and your conversations are an actual exchange—she asks you how you are, and you reciprocate the interest in her life. Even when times get busy, you somehow make room for each other. Distance may separate you, but you always make phone time for each other and hopefully the occasional trip. She truly cares about your feelings and your hopes and dreams, and she’ll ask you about them and keep you accountable. When you haven’t talked for a while, you pick up like you never missed a beat. With this friend you share laughter, tears, joys, and sorrows. She knows you, and you know her. There’s few secrets between you. This is the friend that you call at three a.m. when you face a crisis, or are going into labor! This is the friend you can count on till death do you part.

Is that the kind of friend you need? Is that the kind of friend you want to be? Make the effort now to find a friend like that, and make the effort to be that quality of friend to those you care about. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

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About the author: Pamela Guerrieri came to terms with her addiction to writing when she received and filled the pages of her first journal at the tender age of eight. Her eagerness to write was furthered when she won several local awards for poetry and short stories. One of her closest companions was her rhyming dictionary, which she still keeps close at hand.

As an editor and writer, Pamela enjoys editing works by first-time authors and has been a panel judge for several prominent literary awards, including the RWA, ECPA Book of the Year Awards, and Christy Awards. Though her work at Proofed to Perfection Editing Services consumes most of her day, Pamela always finds time to play with her Arabian horse. She enjoys traveling, talking to strangers (despite those childhood warnings), and Tae Kwan Do.

E-mail: inquiries@proofedtoperfection.com

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