So here we are you and I. You, have decided you are not happy with who you are and me, your guide to a smile. Let me begin by saying a smile on your face is probably one of the most important aspects of a life enjoyed. A simple smile can be more powerful and or more important then just about any one simple act. I say act because in the beginning you will need to consciously try to smile. Now when I say smile, I don’t mean a big clown like smile. Just a little positive energy consciously moved into your face. That is all it takes. Now in order to wrap your mind around this you will need to do an experiment. You can begin this experiment at any time. Though it works better if you are about to go out in public. The experiment is this. When you walk out the door of your home, tell yourself, “I feel good because this is another day I have been given.” Then push that thought up into your face, look at the sky, breath the air and walk with a spring in your step.

At first, as simple as this seems it is not. There are so many distractions and reasons not to smile that you can quickly forget what you are suppose to be doing. If you need to, tie a colored string or put a rubber band around your wrist to remind you of the experiment. It’s also fun to have people ask you why you have a string on your wrist. You can say things like, “I’m trying to remember something.” If they ask you what, simply say, “I’ll let you know if it works.” That does two things. One; it ends their inquiry and two; it relieves you of having to tell them what you are up to. Because in the beginning explaining to someone what you are up to will diminish the importance and kill your momentum. Trust me one of the quickest ways to ruin a good attitude is to tell someone who just happens to be a proverbial pessimist. You can spot them everywhere. They are constantly claiming to be realists. You know whom I am talking about. You will literally talk yourself out of what you are doing by the responses you will get. The average person is inherently against this sort of thing. I recall the T.V. show Saturday Night Live had an on going skit about this subject. It was a character by the name of Stewart Smalley who was supposedly a sort of “Feel good about yourself” sort of host. Who would repeat the mantra, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and gosh darn it people like me.” Now as funny as this was on the show, it was funny for me to think how many people might actually benefit from taking Stewart. Of course that would not happen because the entire ability for the skit to be funny was the fact that the writers were banking on the public reacting to Stewart like he was an idiot. And we, (the audience) were beyond the need for any idiot like Stewart. The fact was and still is, we do need Stewart, we (the public) are simply too proud to admit it. So in the beginning it should be your little secret.

I remember years ago, around 1975. A friend of mine would tell me about self-help books she had been reading. One in particular was Wayne Dyers, Pulling Your Own Strings. At the time I thought such books were a joke. Being of sound mind and body, I had absolutely no use for self-help. Little did I know at the time how wrong I was. One day I decided to go by a bookstore to have a look. I distinctly remember being surprised at the array of self-help books available. There must have been thirty or forty titles. It made me think, “Wow, maybe there’s something to this ‘self help’.” Though my pride, would not allow me to even pick up one of the books and take a peek. I also was looking over my shoulder for fear of a friend or someone who knew me, spotting me standing in front of the self-help bookshelves. So you see I too was once of the opinion. I was fine and needed nothing. Certainly not from a book and I wanted no one to think I did need help. Before leaving I grabbed a copy of Pulling Your Own Strings, purchased it and scooted out. Today if you walk in any chain bookstore and ask for the self-help section, you will be directed toward one of the largest groups of specialty books in the store. There will be literally thousands of titles to choose from. To quote Bob Dylan, ‘The times they are a changin’’

Now I am completely confident the smile experiment will yield positive results. I’ve been doing it every day for years and have had nothing but good come from it. The next step will be the ‘super’ experiment. This is where; when someone asks, “How are you.” Your response will need to be a sincere one-word response, “Exquisite,” accompanied by your smile. You will be pleasantly surprised at what happens. People will almost always react in a good way. Some will even be jealous, can you imagine? How great is that? The misery loves company cliché comes to mind. And if misery loves company, you can only imagine what misery thinks of someone who is doing exquisite. Now don’t think this will work if you don’t really deliver. You will need to embrace the idea in order for it to work. The least little bit of hesitation or reticence in your delivery will show and you will not get the results you should. Yes you may feel it is silly at first. If you can just be an actor the first few times and give a heartfelt performance. I am convinced you will be pleased with the results. Before you know it you won’t need to give a heartfelt performance. You will be so impressed with the responses you will not have the need to perform. You will become a true believer.

After a few weeks of this, something magical will happen. That is right, I said it, magical. You will begin to actually feel good. Maybe not exquisite, but you will feel good. As more time goes by you will eventually feel truly exquisite. Personally I feel exquisite 90% of the time, though I have been doing this a long time. And it is all because my inner being responded to my outer being. It is a simple matter of, mind over matter and you are the matter. You are what matters.

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Email Dr. Gene Nose: genegno@bellsouth.net

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