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Dec. 27, 2009 22 cents a movie. What a bargain, right? Well, yes and no. Yes, you get about eight good films out of the 50 (including Richard Burton in Absolution, and an early Vincent Price film, Shock), but like a Thanksgiving tin from Armour, you get a whole lotta ham. Below are a couple of my reviews for some of these films, which are laughably bad. Still, they have some sort of historical value, especially the early blaxploitation films, Black Hooker, The Guy From Harlem, TNT Jackson, >i> Jive Turkey and Voodoo Black Princess. True, you can't beat the price, but if you're a stickler for quality videos (some of these aren't so good), then you might want to purchase these films separately. Some are quite action-packed and take you back to a more innocent time, when drive-in movies were all over the country. (There were once more than 3000, now there are les than 300). A lot of memories (my teenage kids crack up at some of the slang used "back then"), but a pretty good amount of bang for your buck--especially if you like camp and over-the-top acting. You also get a chance to see some famous actors of today in their embryonic stage of acting. The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant: Scramble some eggs, pilgrim, because here comes a serious slice of ham! Whoever said two-heads were better than one must have written the script for this movie. An interesting contrast of insanity and timidity as our two-headed star provides some of the best (translation: hammy and humorous) B-movie acting this side of "Urban Menace." Vegetarians would be offended being exposed to this much pork. Good thing Casey Kasem had a back-up gig. Boy would I love to see the Farrelly brothers remake this. 3 Out of 5 stars. Voodoo Black Exorcist: If you liked “Urban Menace,” which I’m sure you didn’t if you saw it, then you’ll know to order a big bucket of popcorn before watching this. You’re going to need something to puke up and something to do it in. Let me state the obvious: This film has nothing to do with voodoo, there are no blacks in it and nary an exorcism occurs. This was filmed at the height of the blaxploitation/horror era when movies Like "Blackenstein" and "Blacula" were popular, as was a film titled "The Exorcist." If you think using burnt cork to make white actors "look black" is a hoot (and racist), then this film will leave you shaking your head and wanting to conjure up the ghost of Al Jolson real quick. I don't know what they used to darken the skin of these untalented actors, but to me it looks like watered-down Shinola. I own this DVD as it was part of the 50-pack "Drive In Movie Classics" set, but I only keep it for historical / hysterical reasons, as I am a collector of old "classics." The only redeemable thing about this film is that for the most part, white producers and directors are a bit more in tune with black sensibilities. The Guy From Harlem : Yikes! Cover The Kids’ Eyes. I would rather go without Novocaine while getting my teeth pulled by an angel-dusted monkey using a Phillips screwdriver, than watch this schlock. This film centers on an implausible kidnapping, and a load of "filler material" at the beginning of the film, that features the protagonist protecting an African Princess whom he must protect but is more concerned with bedding. The acting here and the badly choreographed karate fight scenes make "Dolemite" look like "Enter The Dragon." Truly hammy acting and bad editing make this film a must-see for burgeoning directors and editors so that they will know what NOT to do when creating an action film. As in a lot of second-rate blaxploitation, the innuendo and nudity is heavy. The dialogue is so corny, you suspect that black people had little to do with it. Cookie cutter characters make this a really poor man's version of "Shaft," meaning this film is a bad (horrific) mutha....I know, hush my mouth! Invasion Of The Bee Girls: Young girls infused with bee-like qualities are sicced on unsuspecting men who are…well, shall we say “whupped” to death. This film contains that preposterous premise, campy special effects and actors so wooden they make Al Gore look like M.C. Hammer. This film, however, is a camp classic much like Roger Corman’s “Wasp Woman,” only Corman’s B-movie has a decidedly better plot. Legacy Of Blood: This film actually had a cohesive plot and in the tradition of the old European horror flicks (this one by Italian Maestro Dario Argento, Demons, Demons 2), Legacy of blood is filled with blood, gore and fast-paced action, Also in this mode is the classically campy Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas , and Don’t Look In The Basement. Any movie title that leads with the word “Don’t” is almost a guarantee of gore and/pr schlock. Other titles that give you a hint to content and “quality” are: Beast From Haunted Cave, Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride; Women of Devil’s Island ; Unsane; Slaves of The Cannibal God; Night Train To Terror; The Murder Mansion and Blood Mania. I gotta admit, I remember a few of these films from my youth. I would be at the Military Theater in Omaha , Nebraska , or chilling at the former Bridgehead I & II drive-ins in Antioch , California . It was good fun, and bac in those days, a night of movies was an event—whether the films were bad or not. ------------ About the author: Timothy N. Stelly is a poet, essayist, novelist and screenwriter from northern California. His novel, HUMAN TRIAL, is the first part of a sci-fi trilogy and is available from Amazon.com, allthingsthatmatterpress.com and in e-book format at mobipocket.com. HUMAN TRIAL II: ADAM’S WAR is pending review and editing. Stelly also has a short story included in the AIDS-themed anthology, THE SHATTERED GLASS EFFECT, due out in February 2010. His story, SNAKES IN THE GRASS, Is a tale of love, betrayal and its deadly consequences. Reviews of HUMAN TRIAL can be read at amazon.com Visit me at: http://www.myspace.com/pittwit website: http://www.stellyhumantrial.com Email: stellbread@yahoo.com 
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