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Dec. 8, 2009 When I was deeply engrossed in the ceremony of AA meetings whether inside or out of the rooms I found a new type of friendship status with the men I met at my home group. They were friends based on a sober relationship and unlike my drinking and drugging buddies these friends seemed to have a genuine interest in my well being. In meetings we would pose the question “Are any of our friends that are active calling us now that we have stopped drinking and drugging?” Of course the answer was no. And by that we simply believed that they weren’t real friends. Well can we really say that? In AA we labeled them artificial or fake friends. In reality both our active friends and our AA friends were contextual relationships. Drinking and drugging was the context that held our active friends and AA was the context that held our AA friends. My contention now as I have been away from AA meetings for 5 years is that none of my AA friends have called me wondering where I am. Without the context of the meetings I asked myself the question would I associate with any of the men I grew to know in the first 15 years of my sobriety? The answer is NO. What held us together was simply the desire to stop drinking. My question is when the desire to drinking stops what basis do we claim we have to grow the friends of AA into relationships that are beyond contextual? ------------ About the author Jack Briant: My writings are personal musings, but they transcend my own individual experience and seek to touch your heart and soul through experiences of your own. I seem to see life through the lens of metaphors that show up whenever I am moved or connected with the deeper meaning of life in front of me. My style humorous in one layer can move you to tears or have you nodding "yes" as you sidle up to the emotions in you. My explorations delve into the human condition as it relates to fragmented relationships, blended family challenges and any form of the addictions that plague us. I won't try to tell you what to do or give you 10 easy steps or even point you in the direction I think you should be headed. Rather it is my wish that you take longer looks at the areas of your life you only gave fleeting glances to.
Email: jackbriant@mac.com
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