The most annoying person in the history of television—even more annoying than Tony Danza, Jerry Springer, Fran Deschlert or that FreeCreditReport.com guy—has to be Joey Greico, the creator of the television show Cheaters. I don’t know who convinced this guy that he was the patron saint of morality in relationships, but apparently this videotaping voyeur takes his “job” way too seriously. He makes the typical paparazzi look like Boy Scouts by comparison.

For those of you who’ve never seen this case of reality TV run amok, Greco gets together with someone who believes they’re being cheated on, and then brings in private investigators to trail the alleged cheater and dig up dirt. Later he gets together with the “victim”—and I use that term loosely, since this person is getting $5,000, free detective service and a literal fifteen minutes of fame/shame on national TV—to review the evidence.

There is usually some crying on behalf of the jilted one, or an expression of shock. Never are they embarrassed for having the nerve to call these wannabe spies in the first place. The next step is for Greco, the victim and a van full of camermen, lighting technicians and security personnel, to chase down the cheater and catch him red-handed. They usually find their unsuspecting prey in a public place, such as a night club, motel, grocery store—hell, I even saw them ambush a guy outside of his church!

As the confrontation ensues—and believe me, these victims are either encouraged to act a fool or possess a natural talent for making complete @sses of themselves—Greco adds his two cents to the debate. He stalks the cheater, or the person he or she is cheating with, and demands an explanation for their actions, like he’s somebody’s daddy! Or as if he has power to affect an arrest or something.

Imagine a twelve-year-old gossip on a schoolyard with a camera and a satellite dish; put her equally inane friends ia T-shirts three sizes too small so they can look menacing, and you have a good idea of what Greco does five nights a week. He’s like the Twilight Zone version of Gladys Kravitz.

One thing I noticed was that these professional peeping Toms investigate cases that occur in the suburbs. I can’t imagine them doing shows from East Oakland, Compton , Detroit or Harlem , nor can they. Those brothers or sisters would call for back-up and show them what happens when you stick your nose in the wrong person’s business. Nope, they’re always after some country bumpkin or metrosexual who grins nervously into the camera and yells at Greico’s posse to get the cameras away.

Without promoting violence, I gotta give one guy props, though. Once Greco literally went overboard and came onto one man’s boat while he was sailing! The man stabbed him and a bloody Greco had to be air-lifted to the hospital. Served his dumb @ss right. If the stabber had any flair for the dramatic, he would have made Joey walk the plank for laughs! Perhaps if Greco had wound up wearing a colostomy bag for life, he would have learned his lesson, but several months later he was back with all new episodes.

I find the whiney women who appear on the show downright pathetic as they proclaim, “If my mate is gonna cheat on me, he oughta be a man about it and tell me.” First of all, the fact he’s cheating is because he’s a man. Second, having the guts, gall and the gumption to equate his manhood to whether or not he does what she wants him to do is probably why he went outside the relationship in the first place.

The men are even worse. They oftentimes end up getting involved in these Springeresque “fights,” or bawling over a woman who no longer loves them, and who has used them for financial gain. What self-respecting man is going to go on national TV and cry, while subjecting themselves to humiliation—courtesy of the ex and her new man? Imagine going to work the day after the show airs and your co-workers giving you all sorts of funny looks, while your bosses have that “So-that’s-why-you-were-screwing-up-so-much” smirks on their faces.

Then there are the people who get caught. I’ve seen women slap their men and in one case, hock a loogey on her two-timing male. I’ve seen lesbian break-ups, two guys fight over another man, a skinny man get beat up over his 400-lb. ex, and two women argue and then get in the same car and drive off as friends. Meanwhile the man was left standing alone with the same kind of goofy grin worn by Tommy Hearns after he was smacked around the ring by Marvin Hagler.

Greco is nothing more than a pimp who exploits other’s misery to line his pockets with cash. He doesn’t give a damn about helping those poor, confused saps who are too stupid to handle their business in-house. It’s like 99% of the people who appear on the show already know their spouse or mate is cheating, and they’re just gluttons for punishment. And there’s no need to worry about going through it alone. Uncle Joey and his boys will be there for you, cameras in hand, ready to bring all the sordid tidbits to television.

And who said comedy was a dying art form?

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About the author: Timothy N. Stelly is a poet, essayist, novelist and screenwriter from northern California. His novel, HUMAN TRIAL, is the first part of a sci-fi trilogy and is available from Amazon.com, allthingsthatmatterpress.com and in e-book format at mobipocket.com.

website: http://stellbreadO@tripod.com







Email: stellbread@yahoo.com

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