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Nov. 20, 2008 Many people do "think" that the contemporary world lacks any kind of needed, exciting romance, as with the supposedly, for instance, far-gone age of piracy on the high seas; well, in this Year of Our Lord 2008, there is no lack of strange kinds of (dangerous) nostalgia that can still actually appear in the most unlikely places. In the Indian Ocean, for instance, in various areas, there has, in fact, returned the rather startling appearance of truly genuine pirates, freebooters, buccaneers, who do savagely roam the watery surfaces of that salty realm in search of what they do regard as treasure by, of course, attacking ships. But, perhaps, sad to say, there are many different kinds of modern pirates, including political types of freebooters, who can appear on national or even international stages for acting out their parts. An interesting and intriguing example, moreover, can easily be so rendered concerning American political reality and, moreover, the expected terrible consequences of an advanced kind of hyper-piracy set in this postmodern, deconstructionist era. The odd attitude of the American nation to an upcoming and rather important event is, in most quarters, lackadaisical, ho hum, devil-may-care, etc. regarding something that is also startling in its own peculiar way; on the other hand, many sanguine millions will truly and enthusiastically celebrate the official inauguration of this country’s first political buccaneer: Barack Hussein Obama. Interested readers may, therefore, refer to the author of this present article’s previously posted curiosity that was simply entitled: “Where’s Obama’s Actual Birth Certificate?” Among related matters, a writ of certiorari was (historically) filed by Philip J. Berg, in the U.S. Supreme Court this past October 30th, regarding Berg v. Obama, to try to force Obama to simply produce his birth certificate; and, thus, a schedule for a response was actually instituted by Justice David Souter to come from Obama, the Democratic National Committee, and all co-defendants on or before December 1st of this year. There are, at least, several or more such legal actions, moreover, that have been or are, in fact, still pending in state and federal courts across the USA, which will, probably, all lead to completely expected dead ends; they are, therefore, just classic exercises in sheer futility. Apparently, relatively speaking, an incredibly and, thus, absurdly tiny minority of people still seem to be honestly (or is it just quaintly?) concerned about Article II, Section I of the US Constitution, the fundamental Law of the Land no less, for only some strange and supposedly insignificant reasons. The primary document that vitally sustains and maintains the basics of the legality of purpose for the entire nation seems somehow to oddly fascinate disproportionately, according to their many critics, an impotent number of often assumed miscreants who have nothing really better to do with their time, except to be deliberately and boorishly obnoxious, of course. Really now, why should anyone sufficiently care so much that a debonair, daring, dashing, charismatic fellow, whom some have called “Little Barry,” will, audaciously and eventually, become the highest political leader (and swashbuckler extraordinaire) of the currently most powerful nation in the world? Is there any credible reason to be properly worried about a seemingly fearless freebooter who, one senses, has simply and nonchalantly desired to challenge a mere constitutional provision, concerning his presumed logical disqualification or legal ineligibility for the office to which he had been elected? Do enough citizens, therefore, really care? Perhaps, it is dramatically because many Americans have unthinking, romantic notions about the outlaws, scamps, scoundrels, filibusters, of history, as with songs, e.g., celebrating the wild life of Jesse James or, more appropriately here, the exciting exploits of Jean Lafitte, who even got a US postage stamp created to publicly honor his (to say the least) dubious memory; truly, within the broad scope of American history, many scoundrels and various nefarious persons have quite warmly gripped the popular imagination for many decades or even centuries, and will, most likely, continue to do so far into the future. Also, one may freely speculate that, in their vicarious daydreams, enough citizens have piratical visions of their own as a kind of audacity; this is concerning, of course, how they would surely like to supposedly act, if ever given the impossible free abandon to their more nasty desires or certain, shall one say, rather intemperate or improper aggressive instincts. So, now, this long suffering, subject nation will be meanly made the pliable playmate of that notoriously swashbuckling buccaneer Barry, who will, thus, lasciviously lead his boisterous band of rabid reprobates; this will be toward the garish goal of ideologically transforming this coarse country into a corsair or freebooter’s paradise (AKA social market economy) unprecedented in all of recorded piratical history. Obama, moreover, will then have at his full command all of the assembled panoply of powers of the American presidency, for then achieving an appropriately modern, audacious version of the Barbary Coast, which certainly is, of course, quite appropriate for someone whose middle name is, as is known, Hussein. And, thus, proper constitutionalism be damned, so much for mere paper charters; it is simply one among those documentary trifles, heartily challenged by our “Barry the Buccaneer,” archaically dating back to the now long perished, horse and buggy era of the fortunately bygone, late 18th century; by assumption, no rational, progressive-minded person is assumed to care about such notably obscure, abstruse, esoteric, or abstract matters, much like idiotically asking, many would say, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. The Constitution, honestly speaking, is just a bunch of scraps of old paper that few people really bother to read much anymore and, if truth be fully told, even less pay requisite attention to its (usually subjectively interpreted) provisions and statements; this, also, covers matters pertaining to explicitly noted legal qualifications for the official holding of an office, of course, since there does not appear to be too many interested observers who would want to, thus, properly uphold the law, especially, the ultimate Law of the Land itself; it is, after all, an instance of how many republics often, at first, slowly decline and, eventually, die – with an expectant dictator usually or often waiting in the wings of the theater of politics. Thus, dear friends, just supinely lean back and soothingly relax to better enjoy what will become the mighty naughty spectacle of how the bold, bodacious, buccaneer Barry will be acting, with evident joyous glee, in so raucously and rapaciously raping the Constitution for fun and profit. Oh, [his avid supporters will say] what joy!
This goes well, of course, with the advancing and postmodern view of things, as determined by deconstructionism (absolute subjectivism), so that the Constitution is just an infinitely plastic instrument capable of various protean meanings; this is useful for, of course, any new generation of people wanting a suitably flexible instrumentality for their ever changeable needs; in any event, all such above noted doings will most colorfully add to piratical lore and associated fun doings on the new Barbary Coast.
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