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November 16, 2008 Yes, to begin, let's posit that a president with the
lowest approval rating in the history of polling has no credibility about any
subject of importance -- and, in fact, most of the country would like, as David
Letterman joked, to let Barack Obama start his new job right away. But, the
current president's pronouncements that the "free market" isn't at
fault for the financial meltdown -- a position no doubt held by many in
government and business -- led me to dig deep, investigate and discover the
real culprit: Bozo The Clown. You see, if the mess that we have endured -- that we, our
children and their children -- have lived with for the past few decades and
will live with far into the future is not the fault of the so-called "free
market", then, it has to be the fault of Bozo The
Clown. Only Bozo The Clown could have screwed this up
so badly. Here is what the president said: "The crisis was not a failure of the free-market
system, and the answer is not to try to reinvent that system," Mr. Bush
said, in a 24-minute speech at Federal Hall in downtown
He added: "Free-market capitalism is far more than an economic theory. It
is the engine of social mobility, the highway to the American dream." Very helpful. Now, I get it. The fact that wages
have not kept pace with productivity for the past 30 years -- and, if they
had, the
minimum wage would be $19.12, not $6.55 -- because profits and CEO pay were
more important than in fact putting people on the "highway to the American
Dream", is not the fault of the "free market". It's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. The fact that actually our
country's economy did better when it was a "closed economy" from 1946
to 1973, in terms of raising living standards, then, it has in the past
three decades under the mania to have an "open economy" is not the
fault of the "free market". It's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. The current financial crisis was not the fault of the
love of the "free market", which allowed people from Robert Rubin to
Alan Greenspan to preach
about the wonders of debt and leverage and for companies like the Robert Rubin-lead
Citigroup to create the secondary markets for predatory mortgages. It's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. The reality that, rather than being on the "highway
to the American Dream", more than
30 million people have been pushed out of jobs since the early 1980s, and
only a third held of those people found new jobs two years later that paid as
well as those that were lost, another third found work paying 15 to 20 percent
less and the other third just dropped out of the workforce all together -- that
isn't the fault of the "free market". It's the fault of Bozo The Clown. Executives piled on tens of millions of dollars in
compensation and pay, gave themselves stock options worth billions of dollars
and arranged for pensions that often
equaled more than the combined pensions of the rest of a company's workforce.
But, that greed was not the fault of the "free market." It's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. The idea that hedge fund managers only pay
15 percent tax rates on their income, not the 35 percent other top earners
pay, is not the fault of the "free market" and lobbyists who fashion
it. Nope, it's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. Nope, it's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. And the savings and loan debacle of the 1980s, the
wonders of de-regulation of the airline industry, the Internet bubble and now
the bursting of the housing bubble, which wiped out trillions of dollars of
peoples' savings (either in stocks or their home equity) -- all those are not
the fault of the "free market". Yes, it's the fault of Bozo The
Clown. So, it is Bozo The Clown who
should be fired from his job. All the other wizards, business
leaders, pundits, economists and political leaders who cheer-led for the
"free market" should be re-upped for more service, promoted,
encouraged, given Cabinet jobs and higher compensation. Because they did such a great job. ------------ About the author: Peter Pike resides in Colorado which is far, far away from Cleveland. Email: peter@peterpike.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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