Re:  Make Electricity Obsolete!

Funniest damn thing I've read in a long, long time.  Great satire.

Make one of the four fundamental forces of nature "obsolete," the author says.  HA!   That's rich.

Let's just ban electrons.  Yep, just kick 'em out of the big picture.  Who needs electrons?  Let's get rid of Earth's electromagnetic field while we’re at it.  We'll suck out all its oil, and switch off its magnetosphere.  Now that's progress for ya.  We'll replace the Aurora Borealis with candles.  Millions of 'em.  We'll call them the Northern Candlelights.

Batteries?  Who needs ‘em.  All those future-dissing gizmos are just taking up valuable space on our planet, anyway.  Space that could be used for office buildings.  Dark office buildings perhaps, at least until some scientist finds a "quantum leap" substitute for electricity.  Oil lanterns are kinda romantic anyway, dontcha think?

Cell phones?  We could just wind them up like the good old days.  Wait… the winding action generates electricity, too.  And we can’t have that.  Damn that Michael Faraday.  He was probably a Learjet Liberal.  Or an electrified Commie.  Tons and tons of paper cups and string are available, so no biggie.

Hydroelectric power?  Just tear down the damn dams.  Let the rivers flow, baby.

Solar energy?  Okay, I guess… just as long as you don’t hook up any of those damn electrical wires to it.

Wind power?  Take away the wires and it’s alright with me.  There’s just gotta be a better way to transport all that energy wirelessly.  My laptop has wireless capability, for instance.  I haven’t turned it on in a while because it’s got all that ridiculous electrical stuff inside it, though.  I tried to put gas in it, but the nozzle wouldn’t fit into the serial port.

* * * * *

Five-star satire!  And the stuffy, pedantic tone of the article was near-perfect.  My thanks to the author for a tremendously good belly laugh.

You just can't make up stuff like this.  Tell me:  is gravity next?

* * * * *

P.S. (Every plasma that has ever existed was the product of, and most likely was controlled by, that villanous electricity you have so humorously misunderstood.  Like lightning, for instance.  Great example of a plasma right there.)

	Web useless-knowledge.com