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Mar. 28, 2008 What he ate did not so much relieve his hunger as keep it immortal in him. Let me explain: Some people live to eat, Larry ate to live. This being the case, he was, for lack of a better term, rail thin. He was so thin that – and this is purely hyperbolic, but I think you will get the point – he was so thin that he had to wear skis in the shower. When he took a shower, that is, and it was not often that he did. But, I digress. The point is that Larry was thin, skinny, slender, bony, lean, or whatever else one might want to call it. And one has to wonder what the world holds for someone that thin. Sure, much has been said about the stigma that faces fat people: People think that they are lazy, or sloppy, or maybe even ignorant. But, Larry wondered, what of the stigma that faces the ultra thin? What of them? This questioned very much-bothered Larry. The whole idea that he was not a marginalized person – or at least not officially so – really got to him. He wanted a piece of the victim pie. But how? How could he get attention paid to his worthy cause? He decided that one thing that he could do would be to see the world as a victim. He needed to be sensitive. He needed to be over sensitive to what people might say or do to him. He needed to start reading the things that people might say to him not as if they were talking to him, but as if they were talking about him and about his thinness. That, and he needed to be heard. Victims, after all, need to proclaim that they are victims. So, the very next day he decided to frame his life, his conversation, his behavior, his attitude in terms of a victim. Going to work at the bottled water factory, he waited and listened intently for someone, anyone, to make a remark against his thinness. At last, the moment came. He overheard his boss and the plant supervisor discussing the quality of the latest shipment of plastic water bottles. His boss, a stout, brute of a man, said, “I think these bottles are defective. Can’t you feel how thin they are?” The plant supervisor said, “It must be a mistake. I am afraid that these new bottles will leak. We should send them back.” Now Larry was furious. Immediately he walked up to the two men and said, “I heard that! I heard what you said about thin being bad! I heard how you automatically assumed that just because they were thin they would have to be rejected. And you said that thin was a mistake! Both of you are hateful and spiteful. And bigots.” Larry’s boss stared at him for what seemed like an hour. Finally he said, “Larry, you’re fired.” Larry looked at him incredulously and said, “Fired!?! Fired?” He paused, thinking to himself, and then said, “Oh, I get it. You are firing me because I am thin. That is what this is all about.” Larry’s boss looked at him and said, “No, Larry, I am firing you because you are an @$$.” ------------ Email Wesley Mills: Wesley.Mills@esc.edu Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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