Got MILF?  The Neo-Republican ticket does.

The Science Dude is usually content to simply watch campaigning politicians imitate our primitive ancestors, but when low-brows like John McCain resort to child abuse in their continued efforts to dumb down America and attack science education, TSD is forced to put these monkeys back into their cages.

Child abuse.  That’s right.  Teaching biblical creationism in schools is child abuse, and McCain’s ditzy choice for VP believes this favorite theory of simpletons should be taught right alongside Evolution in science classes.

Sarah Palin, the teleprompter-reading sportscaster turned Alaska governor, whose vacant stare is matched only by the vast, barren tundras inside her pretty little head, is evidently the victim of child abuse herself, courtesy of an upbringing in the Catholic church.

The Science Dude would normally dismiss religious buffoons like Palin (and her fellow primate Ann Coulter) with two simple words, the first being “silly” and the second being a synonym for “female dog,” but when their air headed views threaten to regress the scientific education of America’s youth, the matter becomes infinitely more serious.  And speaking of infinite regress, TSD has one final question for our Miss Alaska runner-up, just before the bathing suit competition begins:

Who created The Creator? (you silly b___ch!)

Now, having said that, we all remember how beauty pageant contestants get tongue-tied and flustered when confronted by difficult questions, and McCain’s lovely Sarah is apparently no different, despite her naughty librarian spectacles:

I'm not going to pretend I know how all this came to be.

Oh, but you are pretending, Sarah my dear.  Because if you truly understood what you just said, you wouldn’t advocate teaching a fictitious “debate” between one of the most powerful and far-reaching scientific ideas in history – and the vacuous rantings of gibbering Baptist baboons like Willie Dumbski.  Please excuse me, Sarah sweet cakes, but the only scientific questions you are qualified to comment on, are (1) is John McCain is too old to get a chubby during your speeches, and (2) did he inadvertently stain your dress when you agreed to be his running mate?

The Science Dude will conclude by saying to Sarah Palin:  your religious thong is showing, so please keep your manicured claws off our American children, and your half-baked Alaska ID-eas out of our public schools.

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