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Apr. 15, 2008 So Absolut Vodka gets caught with it’s Mexican flag flying over the western United States. By now you’ve probably seen it: It is a map made before the War With Mexico, when that country included what would become Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California and several other states. The ad caption is “In an Absolut world…” the implication being that this is the desired state of things among Mexicans. (The ad was meant to run only in Mexico but nothing is secret on the Internet.) That this may actually be the desired state of Mexican territory should come as no surprise: for years, a return of that property to Mexico has been the stated aim of La Raza (The Race) one of the largest of the Mexico-first organizations on American soil. First, a history lesson. From the beginnings of civilization, wars were fought for land and treasure. No matter who or what started the war, at the end the victor could do what he wished with enemy land, whether it was tribal land, a fiefdom, a kingdom or a continent. “To the victor belong the spoils.” It was the accepted way of life and no one complained about it except those who were defeated and their recourse was to wait, grow strong, overthrow the victors and rearrange the borders to their liking. It worked for thousands of years. Then America came along and invented the idea of making war for altruistic reasons: fight until the enemy gets it through theirs heads that certain behavior will not be tolerated, then cease fire, claim no territorial gains and offer them a helping hand. We toyed with this notion during the Civil War, backslid and took some territory during the Spanish-American War, then brought the idea to full fruition following World War I and carried it through World War II. As Colin Powell said, we fought two wars in Europe and asked for nothing in return except enough land to bury our dead. Unfortunately for some, the idea caught on. This is why Israel is constantly pressured to return Arab lands fairly won in the Six-Day War and the Yom Kippur War. In fact, Arab demands are so ridiculous that Israel is being pressured to give up the land granted them by the Palestine Mandate and the Balfour Declaration. But that’s on the other side of the world. Back to Mexico. Suppose the United States had never warred with Mexico and the land remained as it was on that pre-1846 map that Absolut thought would go unnoticed except in Mexico? What would “Northern Mexico” be like? Consider this: Mexico owned that land for about three hundred years and did nothing with it except to establish some missions and give some enormous land grants in the hope that owners of those grants would somehow build a civilization. They didn’t. In fact, so few Mexicans settled north of the Rio Grand that Mexico lobbied for American settlers to come in and help them hold the land against the Apaches, Lipans, Cheyennes and other tribes of what we now call Native Americans. Americans populated that vast land in less than fifty years. They established farms and ranches, linked East and West in the greatest construction feat since the Great Wall of China, explored and mapped the area and built cities – all in fifty years. And once that fifty-year period was over, they kept right on going. The missions of San Antonio, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Santa Fe – all became great cities. So now, of course, the Mexicans want it back. The parallel with Israel comes up again. After more than a thousand years of Arab rule, Palestine was still mostly desert. Now that the Israelis have greatly improved it (again, in just fifty years) the Arabs want it back. Nothing compares with enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labor. Of course, the easy answer is this: If Mexico thinks it has a claim to the western United States, let them come and try to take it. (But do it as men do: not by sneaking across the border and having as many babies as you can.) But wait. Logic is rearing its ugly head! If we give “Northern Mexico” back to Mexico, then the Mexicans should have to return everything to Spain. But the Spanish can’t handle it, since Spain itself will have been returned to the Moors, who never had a presence in Mexico. No problem, however, since by rights Spain should return Lower Mexico to the Aztecs, who must then return it to the Mayans – and Northern Mexico should then revert to the tribes of the Great Plains. The claims on “Northern Mexico” end there, since the Plains tribes apparently took the land away from mammoths and saber-tooth tigers. We are fortunate animals can’t bitch – especially after they are extinct. As for those pesky Moors, they must return European territory to the Vandals and Goths, who must in turn give back territory to the Romans, who must then… No. Let’s stop right there. I’m content to live in a world where the only superpower is Italy. After all, they gave us fettuccini and pizza and never asked for anything except the use of our streets for killing one another in the gangster wars. It’s this kind of conundrum that makes one start thinking of having a stiff shot of – well, anything but Absolut vodka. ------------ About the author: Erv Bobo is a free-lance author. His current books THE VELVET BRAND, THE CHEYENNE BRAND and WESTERN STAR are currently available at Lulu.com. Email: Dasher1945@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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