Who Am I?

Articles

Who Am I?

By Anonymous
May 5, 2007

I’ve written many articles for Useless Knowledge – do you know who I am? It is not easy to really know someone if you only read her thoughts on religion or politics or astrology or the latest celebrity news. Those subjects might be popular, and they might reveal something about my values if I were to write about them, but do they really tell you much about me? If I were to write 50 or 100 or 500 articles, would you know enough about me to pick me out of a crowd? Could you have read my words for years, yet walk by me on the street without recognizing me?

I have brown hair, but you’d never know that, even if I was wearing a bikini. I can ride a unicycle – as a teen I used to ride one all over my neighborhood. I took piano lessons and bought a nice piano for my home. I like decorating my home. I made my own curtains. I have painted the rooms in my house many different colors. A gay hairdresser once told me my house was “festive.” I picked out my own wallpaper, cabinet handles, lighting fixtures, and carpet. Just about everyone loves at least one room in my house; just about everyone hates at least one room in my house as well (although they don’t admit it).

I love children. I volunteered for years at the local women’s shelter and helped stage a fundraiser every year called the Pepsi KidAround. I sponsored tickets for 100 kids and worked long days over the Labor Day weekend painting faces, filling sand bottles, making balloon hats, etc. I was named Volunteer of the Year once and was featured in their newsletter. Regrettably, I moved about 30 miles away and have not done as much work for them as I used to do.

I have also supported the Alzheimer’s Association. I “ran” in their 5K one year and have made donations in other years. I lost a member of our family to Alzheimer’s. I am a member of the PTA at my child’s school and used to volunteer every Tuesday morning. Mostly they had me make copies of test papers and class handouts. It was fulfilling. I wish I still had time to do that.

I have three dogs. Someone abandoned them in my front yard. They were obviously the runts – three little females. I didn’t want any dogs, being single I was just not home enough. Now I’m home a lot because I have three dogs. And it feels safer with them outside because they bark, but they’d never actually hurt anyone.

Are you starting to figure out who I am? Can you relate some of these things I’ve told you about myself to the personality of one of the Useless-Knowledge authors? Would it help if you knew I had a motorcycle? And that I like to go camping? How old do you think I am? I am a parent. More than anything else, I am a parent.

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About the author: No, this isn't an American Express commercial. Anonymous prefers to remain anonymous.

Email: Nope. No email either. Try the Yellow Pages.

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