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Tom Pain Caricatures Manhood

By Thomas Keyes
May 2, 2007

In a recent exchange  in the rebuttal section, Tom Pain made the preposterous statement that he hates lies.  Quoth he, “The reason you want to label me conservative is that I hate lying and distortion…”

 To this falsehood, I replied laconically and truthfully “You lie frequently.

Then Pain parried by suggesting that I would cite his lies about me as evidence that he does indeed lie.  He said, “I can only guess that you would cite the names I've called you as proof - as if, 1) you haven't called me untruthful things (I've documented those in earlier threads, you never defended your lies), and 2) I wasn't responding to insults of me.”

From this, I gather that Pain neglects to count his own lies as lies, if he thinks I have told lies, or if his lies are reprisals for attacks I have made on him.

Here  is a lie Pain has told about me that didn’t come as a result of any attack I made on him, “Thomas Keyes hates Jews; it’s just that simple.” In another case, when I had written an innocuously humorous article  about how Tom Pain was actually the pen-name of an overworked Jewish housewife from Brooklyn, he responded with what I guess he considers humor.  In his coarse, crude, revolting riposte, he said of me, “Of the hundreds of Jews he brutalized and murdered, none caused even a moment of regret in his Aryan arrogance, they being no more than maggots to be smashed under his jackbooted heel. In fact, when fond memories of those leisurely days feeding bodies to the oven did arise, he grew angry that he was no longer able to participate. And so that last year of the war passed in agony as wisps of burning Jew meat wafted past his window each morning, yet beyond his sight and touch.”  This is a man who writes such monstrous lies about a person who has never harmed anyone in his life?

In the same thread, he added, “It took a lot of research, but I've been able to confirm much of this information. It explains a lot about Mr. Keyes—why he lives abroad, why he uses Internet cafes, that stint in the Hawaiian prison, his hatred for Jews. You can feel the Prussian mindset in his writing.”  Another contributor had to explain to a third contributor that Pain was lying. 

This riposte of Pain’s demonstrates to what lengths this stupid psychopath will go to reiterate his arrant lie that I hate Jews.  The fact of the matter is that Pain hates Muslims, and detests me for not sharing his hatred and for blaming Israel and Israel’s sympathizers in the US for the chaos in the Middle East.  There is absolutely no truth to the statement that I hate Jews.  Pain’s remarks are not only obnoxious lies, but amount also to actionable criminal libel. 

Pain has also posted rebuttals accusing me of pedophilia because I gave gifts of money and clothes to needy children in Paraguay.  I have never in my life committed an indecent act with any children or adults. You have to be utterly sick, depraved and degenerate to resort to such disgusting criminal defamation as flows from Tom Pain’s keyboard.  I haven’t been able to find the particular posts in a search of the rebuttal section, so it may be the case that one of the moderators has removed the loathsome garbage.

So Pain does indeed lie abundantly and flagrantly. 

Actually, at one time, Pain and I had good relations.  He is the person who started the personal abuse, which was relatively mild at that time.  Here is the very first attack, “It appears Thomas, that you have lost it. Maybe some Amazonian fungi has (sic) infiltrated your brain, maybe your frustration at being on the losing side of popular opinion on so many issues has festered into brain rot, I don’t know. I just know that the Thomas Keyes I’ve admired would not take a public stance on the pile of doodoo you’ve scraped together here. I hope you return to those amazing senses of yours and continue to oppose with facts and supportable deductions, instead of appearing in front of us as yet one more foaming-mouthed, wild-eyed, flaring nostril Liberal (sic), hell bent on destruction at any cost—including  the cost of your personal integrity.”

I replied to this slur with a polite request that Pain stick to the subject of the debate.  Here is what I said, “All of Pain’s comments on such things as my having contracted brain fever or brain rot, etc., are out of place, in my opinion, in a serious discussion, and though I could reply in kind, I won’t do so, instead giving Pain the benefit of the doubt by assuming that he is serious despite the frivolous nature of those remarks.”  Instead of retaliating, I besought Pain not to be abusive.

In the same sequence of articles, Pain introduces unwarranted obscenity, “But, just as I can call Clinton a lying, scumbag whoremonger, and Ted Kennedy a drunken murderer IN MY OPINION, you can do the same of Mr. Bush. Isn’t America wonderful!!  I did not stoop to any obscenities in discussing Bush, so Pain’s filthy comments are entirely out of place.

Again, I expostulated with Pain not to resort to obscenity to make his points, but instead to act like a man and say his piece in a forthright, honest way.  I said, “I happen to share Tom Pain’s low opinion of Edward Kennedy and William Clinton, though Clinton’s offenses in Monicagate were relatively minor, but I would prefer that Pain omit the foul language. I am trying to keep the level of our debate high, but Pain keeps sinking into the depths with his needless invective.”

Yes, yes, I have attacked Pain numerous times, but Pain is the one who started the whole thing.  So his argument that his lies don’t count if he is making reprisals for my attacks on him is garbage.   Pain and Pain alone began making personal attacks and injecting filth into the debate.  Later, I admit, I began to retort in kind, but only after remonstrating with Pain sincerely and imploring him to answer in a logical, refined way.  Moreover, my attacks have been relatively mild.

But don’t think that I am complaining only on my own behalf.  At about the same time, Pain started getting dirty with Michelle Malsbury and others.  Here for example is the opening paragraph of one of Michelle’s articles, “Last evening Larry King hosted an interview with the very popular, ever handsome, and boyishly playful George Clooney. Larry, a skillful and adept interviewer, begged the difficult questions and George replied with candor, grace, and humor. The interview unfolded much like this.”

Pain responded with an uncalled-for lewd remark, completely out of place in view of the innocent, ingenuous remarks Michelle had made.  He said, “Go ahead, Michele and the rest of you firm buns admirers, think with your crotch.”  One can disagree without making a pig of himself.

The idea that Pain has the option of lying if he thinks I have been lying in no way justifies his lies.  He denies that he lies, and that in itself is lie.  On the other hand, I have never said that I don’t lie.  If the police saw me exiting a forest preserve early in the morning and asked me if I had camped out there overnight, I would probably lie.  But I cannot recall that I have lied in any of the debates that have taken place on this website.  What good would it do me to lie about Bush, Tenet, Libby or some other public figure?  I feel that my general integrity is evident enough that I don’t half to boast about it. 

Who is the person who was twice voted off the site, was unanimously selected as worst writer on this website and is the target of numerous attacks and criticisms in the rebuttal section?  It is not Thomas Keyes.  I receive few serious criticisms except from Pain, who is apparently envious of my intellectual gifts, as several contributors have remarked.  I apologize for indulging in this immodesty, but under the circumstances, I think it makes an important point.



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About the author Thomas Keyes: I have written two books: A SOJOURN IN ASIA (non-fiction) and A TALE OF UNG (fiction), neither published so far.

I have studied languages for years and traveled extensively on five continents.

Email: udikeyes@yahoo.com


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