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Mar. 16, 2007 Historians are unable to verify the legend of Robin Hood, the hero whose philosophy of stealing from the rich and giving to the poor should be an inspiration to all of us in this modern day world of corporate fascism. From court records of the twelfth and thirteenth centuries they've found several records of a Robin Hood or a Robin Hod or several other such similar names, but no one knows if these names actually refer to the man from those wonderful stories compiled and probably embellished by Howard Pyle. People unfamiliar with the historical context upon which this legend arose might think of Robin Hood as a kind of criminal rather than a hero. Therefore, a brief account of history is necessary. When the Normans (Vikings who conquered France and settled there) invaded England in 1066, they defeated the Saxons and took their lands. The Viking warriors appointed themselves kings and noblemen and became the ruling class, relegating the Saxons to a class of peasantry and servitude. They taxed the Saxons, exploited them, and profited from their labor. Hunting was considered the sport of the privileged, and the Saxons couldn't hunt deer, even if their families were starving. Robin Hood was a Saxon and had every right to steal from the Viking conquerors. The similarity between the Vikings and modern day fascist corporations is striking. True, they didn't come from other lands but arose from within, and they don't directly participate in brutal physicality. But they do dominate our society to the detriment of the public interest. Through collusion, they reduce free market competition and keep prices high, thus cheating consumers. They exploit workers and pay them the bare minimum. Many use and sell products and materials made by slaves really held captive and forced to work, not only in Asia, and Latin America but on U.S. territory in the Marianas Islands. They bribe politicians into passing laws which entitle their companies to ridiculous tax breaks and corporate welfare. So in other words, they steal taxpayers money in more ways than one, and Wal-Mart is one of the worst examples of this corporate greed. And what do the corporate executives often do with this money? After laying off 1500 workers, they retire with a $250 million golden parachute. It's not immoral to steal from Wal-Mart because there's nothing wrong with stealing from a thief. Wal-Mart costs the American people money. They profit from using underpaid workers who must rely on welfare, food stamps, and indigent health care to supplement their income. They sell products made by slaves. They charge high prices as soon as they eliminate competition, and the stupid sheep who shop there don't even realize Wal-Mart makes a 60% profit on most items they sell. Just because it says discount store doesn't mean it is one. Be a modern day Robin Hood and strike back--go to the nearest Wal-Mart and shoplift. First, do some reconnaisance: Check out the cameras, the mirrors, the security guards, the vulnerable merchandise. If you're afraid of going to court and don't want shoplifting on your record, there's good news. Wal-Mart no longer presses charges against people for shoplifting $25 or less. Anyone shopping at Wal-Mart, who doesn't lift $25 worth of items, is a chump. You can really do some nickel and dime jobs on them. If you don't care about your record, than you can take a chance and go for the more expensive goods. Always keep a getaway car ready near the exit with another driver at the wheel. Once you have a stolen item, leave, but make sure you leave at the same time someone else does because if an alarm goes off, the greeter will be confused over which one of you has an unpaid item. Walk calmly but quickly to your car and ignore the commands of a security guard--he's not a cop and has no authority to verbally stop you. However, if he manages to physically restrain you, the game is over, unless you're willing to face charges of assault when you fight back. Of course, the ultimate Robin Hood would be someone willing to infiltrate the store and work there as an employee. Then, the sky's the limit. ------------ About the author Mark Gelbart: My book, Talk Radio, is a black comedy about a radio talk show host who gets kidnapped and psychologically tortured by a loser. www.mark-gelbart.com Email: agelbart@aol.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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