The Morning Ritual

Articles

The Morning Ritual

By Kaycee Nilson
Jun. 18, 2006

Every morning it’s the same thing, no matter what time it is, I get a finger poked into my eye. Sometimes the finger is sticky with something; sometimes the finger is covered in finger-paint. Then a five-year-old that has no volume control, screams into my ear, “MOM! I’M AWAKE! PLAY WITH ME! I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!” When I hear that line, I am reminded of the movie “Children Of The Corn.”

I get up in my pink, flannel pajamas that are covered in roses, slip on my Tony Stewart house-shoes and invariably make my way into the kitchen to get my first cup of coffee for the day.

It never fails, I always step on a lego or two in the hallway and if I’m lucky, I’ll get a Hot Wheel embedded into my left foot.

Then I reach the kitchen to find that my favorite coffee cup has been used to hold water with paintbrushes covered in watercolors in it. The cat jumps on the counter and meows at me with the most pitiful look on his face like someone had shoved a broom handle up his butt.

That’s when I notice that my normally orange and white cat is now orange and blue or purple and green. I just shake my head and let the pony tail holder that held my hair the night before, fall to the ground.

I reach for my second favorite cup. That is when the barrage of “Momma” starts. I swear to all that is holy this child was born without a volume control! I pour myself a cup of coffee and take a couple of sips, all the while hanging my head and wondering who bought the paints to begin with.

I turn around to see a blonde, blue-eyed five-year-old that is covered in paint jumping up and down as if he had eaten fourteen pounds of Mexican Jumping Beans. I ask him what he wants for breakfast, he stops as if I had just asked him the formula for pi. He then puts one fist under his chin, thinks for about a minute while I finish half the cup of Maxwell House in my hand before he screams “PANCAKES!”

I manage to stumble over the child to get to the pantry to get the pancake mix. He grabs the biggest skillet he can find. I then measure out the mix and water and begin to make the mixture, all the while repeatedly putting the cat onto the floor from the counter.

I make Precious his pancakes, then I butter them, pour just enough syrup on them to cover the pancakes, but not enough for him to get Stewart stickier. Then I tote his plate out to the living room where I serve his majesty on his “Go Diego Go” tray and pop in his DVD of “Go Diego Go!”

Then it’s a few steps to my desk, where I sit, drinking a second cup of coffee, while the cat sits atop my un-opened lap-top and meowing at me. I have no idea what he is saying so I answer back with the generic, “Oh yeah?? And then what happened?” Then it’s time to take the plate back into the kitchen. Wash up from breakfast. Grab the kitty shampoo and trick Stewart into the sink to wash him back into his Orange and White glory.

I then grab my lap-top, my thermal mug full of coffee, Coltrane and his school workbook, and take everything into my bedroom where I put on Noggin and Cole works on his writing while I surf the ‘net and laugh at Stewart who looks like a drowned rat.

Our morning ends with a game of “I’m not touching you Mommy.” And it normally eludes to me grabbing him, throwing him down on the bed, holding his hands above his head and kissing his face, thereby getting my face covered in watercolors and pancake syrup.

I don’t know of a better way to wake up in the mornings!

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About the author: Kaycee Nilson has completed her first novel, Night Falls on Chicago. The first two chapters can be viewed right here.

Besides writing columns for U-K and Speedway Media, Kaycee is currently working on two more novels, From the Mind of a Vampire, and I'll Love You Til You Die.

If you have enjoyed what you've read, or would like to leave Kaycee a note, please visit her message board here.

Email: Kaycee@kayceenilson.com

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