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July 30, 2007 [Editor's Note: This is the first of four 6th-grade student essays I will be posting in succession. The essays were written in response to a standardized topic prompt: "Tell a story about how you found a box of treasure." The students had two hours to complete their essays, under testing conditions. As this example will prove, some were better than others. Enjoy!]  Once there was a boy named Gerard. Gerard was at his house listening to music, while holding a Root Beer bottle. The batteries went dead on the stereo. He said, “Aaaaaa…” Gerard went to the bathroom closet to get five 9-Volt batteries. He looked: there was a huge amount of batteries. All of the different kinds: Duracell, Ray-O-Vac, and Powerhouse—he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t decide which to take. He took a Duracell. He looked at it and said, “This ain’t a nine-volt!” He looked everywhere in the closet, but no nine-volt. He got very angry and stomped out. The doorbell rang and he said, “I’ll get it!” He opened the door, and fastly he said, “Welcome to the Predicament household, how may I help you?” “Hi Gerard,” the child said. “Who are you?” Gerard said. “I’m…” “Wait!” Gerard said. “Don’t tell me!” He muttered to himself. Okay, you’re wearin’ a sweatervest, I see those undies, no hygiene, scalp infection, and no left ear. “You are Cordaroy!” “How’d ya know?” he said. “I’m good,” said Gerard. “Wanna go to the woods with me?” Cordaroy said. “Sure!” exclaimed Gerard. They went up a hill, a mountain, beat up monkies, and met a hippie named Jimbo. They looked down a very steep hill. Gerard stumbled on a rock and fell down the hill. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” he screamed. Cordaroy came down on a moped, and said “Get up!” “Okay.” Gerard said, and got up. There was an ‘X’ under him. Cordaroy pushed him out of the way and started digging. “What are you doing?” Gerard asked. “Digging gold!” Cordaroy said. “I thought you just wanted to go hiking.” Gerard said. “Ya, right!” Cordaroy said. “I just needed a pigeon like you to get me there.” Cordaroy dug it up and opened the chest. “Amazing,” Gerard said. “What the…?” Cordaroy said. Inside were 5 nine-volt batteries. Gerard took them and ran. A raptor then came and ate Cordaroy. Everyone lived happily ever after.  ------------ About the author: Ed Stevens is U-K's Managing Editor. Email: uksubmissions@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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