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By Patrick Hurley July 26, 2007 At first we all believed that athletes and officials were getting into trouble as part of a natural coincidence. Never has the sporting world been under such fire for illegal activities, unethical actions and irrational behaviors. The downward spiral included Michael Vick's dog fighting participation, Barry Bonds and his denial of knowingly using steroids as he approaches the all-time home run record, Tim Donaghy and his NBA refereeing fixes and the University of Oklahoma losing almost an entire season of victories because of NCAA violations. Even the leader in the Tour de France was disqualified for illegal drug use. This was an unprecedented series of events all during the middle of the summer of 2007. Coincidence? I think not. There are too many high-profile examples in too short a time. SOMEONE is behind all this. I just feel it. Before I write any further, let me confess that I always stop at the grocery checkout stand and peruse the tabloids for truth in journalism. It was there that I first learned Elvis Presley was a clerk at a 7/11 store in Michigan long after his supposed death. I also found out on deep background that there really was an alien captured upon impact near Roswell, New Mexico, Mr. Ed really did speak his own dialogue and that Neil Armstrong and his fellow astronauts faked the moon landing and that is why he is a RECLUSE living in a farm house in rural Ohio. He obviously has something to hide...according to the Globe. So, I decided to come up with my own theory of why all these sports scandals are occurring at the same time. It is pretty obvious that SOMEONE wants to sabotage all the major sports for a good reason. I will get to the point because the sooner these jealous hens are revealed the better. I believe the real perpetrators of the lies surrounding all these fine people who are fighting for their reputations on the field and in the courts are none other than...  The owners and executives of the WNBA! There, I said it. So sue me. I am not afraid to speak out as a concerned American. Patrick Henry. Patrick Hurley. Do the math... The Women's National Basketball Association is in serious danger of folding their tent. Who else has more to gain if college football, the NBA, major league baseball and the NFL all go down? The WOMEN, of course! They have been bitter for years that they are not being paid jack for providing entertainment in golf, tennis and strip clubs all over this great land. They have had enough of being second-rate citizens so they met at a secret location, (no doubt a shopping mall!) and plotted to overthrow all the men and their games to force the American public to watch THEM! Are you disgusted? Are you angry? Are you going to sit back and take it like a MOUSE? These trumped up headlines are designed to ruin the careers and credibility of MEN to the point where all the major sports will no longer be watched by millions who will now begin believing that only women have integrity and purity in the sporting venue. This is simply not true. I can think of a lot of women cheaters...Rosie Ruiz in the Boston Marathon, uh...and I am sure a lot MORE! So there. I just hope that Michael, Barry, Timmy and that bicycle guy are exonerated soon before the pathetic women and their loopy leadership of the WNBA suddenly land a major network contract forcing all of us to watch a game devoid of dunking, taunting. and physically assaulting others. This is a MAN'S world and if we want to fix games, watch dogs kill each other or fill our bodies with potentially fatal drugs, so be it. Leave it to a woman and their league to be so jealous our sporting success. Pathetic. ------------ About the author: Patrick Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. Email: coolhumor@sbcglobal.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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