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Jan. 29, 2007 Thomas Keyes, the most prolific UK writer, is a bit crafty. He has taken me to task over a few pronouns, and I know, from the past, that when he suggests that someone purchase a grammar book, that trouble looms ahead for that person. At least he suggested I buy a college level grammar book. In his article about pronoun use he cites two errors. They both are errors. The second one is a plain error. No excuses. I should have used “who,” and not “whom.” The first error, though also a “real” error, I would make again. Why? It is because I liked the way it sounded in the context of the sentences around it at that time. It would still be incorrect, but I would like it that way. It is something like the time I decided to write all of my articles without using any capitals at the beginning of sentences. I believe that the beginning of sentences can do well without being capitalized. The period denotes the end of the last sentence. Keyes disliked this. I think most people would. I got away with it for a while. Then the editor asked me to write in capitals, and so I have. Thomas was supposed to pick a topic, and then we would both write an article. The topic he has chosen for the beginning of the duel is my pronoun use! He is smart, because he is Mr. Grammar. It’s not what I had in mind though. I was thinking of a more neutral topic. For instance, we both, out of coincidence, wrote articles about Herons - here and here. I like my article better because it is more evocative than his factual account. Of course they are apples and oranges though. But that is the fun of it! He thinks his apples are better than my oranges. His apples, as in his Heron, are nutritious, which would translate as informative, but not overly exciting. My oranges, as in my Heron, are sweetness! Now, onto the danger of alienating the reader. Thomas can try for sweetness, but sweetness must also be tempered, or it may kill all the taste buds! When Thomas wanted to write an article on his idea of the most beautiful woman, he wrote a fun piece, but sentences like “When she smiles her eyes are chatoyant black star sapphires,” and passages such as “Her name is Ajinblambia, and she was made to rule the world, its goddess and benefactress. She is the lady of nations and the darling of countries. She is the peerless one, the nonpareil,” are problematic. “Chatoyant black star sapphire” is at once too condescending and too adolescent a choice of words. What is chatoyant? This is the writer indulging himself. Secondly, you can’t use “star,” to help describe anything, much less a female’s eyes. There is no grammatical rule against it, but this is only used in love poems or love letters written by general grade high school students to try to impress a crush. The second of Thomas’ errors is in describing his crush, all in four sentences together, as basically Queen of all of existence, and gives her a name so over the top that I don’t know what. And “nonpareil”? Does that mean she has no apparel or what? Perhaps the only reader is Ajadilarabliakadabara herself, sitting on some over the top golden chair reading with her star eyes… ------------ Email Brian Michael Barbeito: Brian1750@Hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
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