HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Jan. 21, 2006 FBI Note: Intercepted cell message #6666: It is with great satisfaction and pleasure that I congratulate my Muslim brothers and my personal allies of the Democrat Party of decadent America on their recent capitalistic and therefore infidel-like ascendancy to political pre-eminence. I and my radical Islamic brothers among the clans of Hezbollah, Hamas, Al-Fatah and the Al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigade; as well as Al-Qaida and the Sunni Mulim brotherhood wish only the very best for your continued political prosperity. I can personally guarantee this prosperity when you withdraw all your troops from all of the Islamic lands I am currently trying to take over. Leave Iraq to me. I would have sent my note sooner, but I wanted to ensure I was getting press just prior to the President’s State of your Union address and I was hoping to help solidify your re-acquisition of power, and therefore, my own possible emergence from this blasted-hot cavern on the Pakistani border. I am also curious to know if the wonderfully beautiful and charming Nancy Pelosi is available for dinner next Thursday evening. But I digress. I want you to know I will do everything in my power to see that my Islamic brother Barak Obama is elected to the American Presidency over that starchy and diabolical blond woman, Clinton. I am certain that he will be sympathetic to the Islamic cause as presented in the Koran. He can’t help but condone our continued aggression and murderous activity. It must surely be the will of Allah. We all understand that women don’t know how to do anything but pleasure us Islamic radicals and have our babies. Our women don’t have babies to make themselves more politically appealing. Our women have babies so we can offer them up on the fires of jihad! Jihad is the all important political statement! We thank the Democrat Party of America for understanding our need to destroy the West while making it easier for us by exposing the President’s secret programs against our efforts and attempting to force a full retreat while undermining the morale of your own soldiers. We radical Islamists could not have hoped to accomplish so much as you have done. I personally would never have called your military Nazis or Khmer Rouge. That would just have upset them and gotten more of my personal body guards killed. I am satisfied that in only a few short months you Democrats will have begun impeachment proceeding against my most arch nemesis. I am so comforted in the cowardice that makes you fear me enough to appease me with the destruction of your government. I destroyed Spain and I knew it was only a matter of time before I and my friends in Cuba , Nicaragua , Venezuela , Iran and Wahabbist Saudi Arabia would weaken American public opinion enough to bring many of your cowardly supporters to office. I am happy for every word of defeatism that emits from your valued Congressional Chamber. I enjoyed the defeat of the principle of allowing a Muslim to swear by the only book that truly matters; the Koran. It will only be a matter of time before I have sent enough Islamic immigrants over the Mexican border to get more of our brothers elected. It will only be a few short years before burqua-clad American women wear their veils for their American Driver’s License photograph! I am winning! I feel so happy! Allah has blessed me! I wanted to thank all the Republicans who defected to my cause also. I know that without your defeated attitudes and your dove-like rhetoric the Democrats would have a very tough time convincing Americans that there is a need to cut off the funds supporting the American military. I appreciate all the effort you have placed in your non-binding resolutions to make the President look bad and to turn public opinion to my benefit. I only now ask that you make greater effort to pull out your troops completely so I can again taste fresh air and see some sunlight. I thank the American people too. Your polls show an incredible support for radical Islamism and I can assure you that we will impose Islamic law upon your country just as soon as we have secured three-fourths of your government. I understand estimates of Islamic infiltration into America are greater than 8 million who will refuse to assimilate and demand mosques in every sports stadium across your nation. That is good indeed! I personally plan to turn the Jefferson Memorial into a mosque dedicated to me! So carry on my American co-patriots! Sing the praises of Mohammad on every street corner and remember….DEATH TO ISRAEL! DEATH TO AMERICA ! AND DEATH TO THAT WARMONGER BUSH! P.S. Now that the terrorist surveillance program has been squashed by the Democrats, could someone please send me Nancy Pelosi’s cell number? Thanks again. FBI Addendum: This was the final intercept from the terrorist surveillance program just before Patrick Leahy pulled the plug. It was a text message to the cell phone of Rep. J. Murtha and CC'd to J. Kerry, T. Kennedy, B. Frank, C. Rangel, O. Snow and P. Hingle. The New York Times also received a fax copy courtesy of Al Jazeera. ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae has contributed over 700 articles to Useless-Knowledge.com. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com and are not allowed to be posted on other websites. ARTICLE THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED! |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
