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 By Steve Dayton Jan. 21, 2007 Okay you faithful golf fans, I told you back in this article that I would show you my new swing as soon as I hired a suitable photographer. Well, Annie Leibovitz called and said she couldn’t make it due to prior engagements, mentioning something about “trump,” or a “cruise”… I couldn’t really hear her over the helicopter blades. Sounds like she’s on vacation, possibly on her way to play bridge on a yacht with friends. I don’t know. Sorely disappointed, yet still determined to digitally disgust y’all with my recent breakthrough, I went with lesser-known Mark Jackson at Arizona National Golf Club, a seasoned pro whose former pupils include that famous hacker Bill Gates. Arriving on a cold and rainy Friday morning, at his beautiful outpost perched on a Tucson mountainside overlooking saguaros and slicing seniors, Jackson listened patiently during my babbling litany of horse-hockey regarding "slattering paddles," and then politely stifled his
urge to yawn -- several times -- during my subsequent "trapping" tutorials. “You just keep hittin’ them balls, and I’ll just keep filming,” Jackson drawled finally, like a veteran who’d seen one too many reverse-pivots in his long PGA career. I realized I was getting nowhere trying to communicate with this man in Jabberwockian. I therefore turned my attention to the task at hand, and with Jackson manning the mouse expertly, together we produced the following Pulitzer-worthy portfolio: The discriminating student of golf will note that my backswing appears a touch “laid off” at the top. This is primarily Mark’s fault, who suggested that I try a drill to take my swing to the next level. I held my tongue at this naive comment, knowing I would let the “cat out of the bag” if I blurted out what was on my mind... (something to the effect of "Next level? Pray tell.
What lies beyond golf swing GODHOOD, Mr. Jackson?). Also, the driver swings captured here represent 3/4 speed; 'beauty over brawn' for the U-K fans back home, I reasoned privately. Confirming my own published observations, (and also providing proof to the U-K audience that I’m not smoking crack here), Jackson praised my swing plane, calling it “great,” and said I would have no problem passing the
PGA Playing Ability Test. Upon witnessing my head beginning to swell like a balloon, he then chided me for swinging mostly with my arms, and implied that my backswing was a little contrived, and overly vertical at the top. He proffered advice on
fixing these problems, and to buttress his arguments, he showed me video of Tiger Woods, Davis Love, and Seve Ballesteros, demonstrating near-flawless technique. Humbled in the presence of golfing royalty, I paid promptly and quietly departed Jackson’s studio, two steps forward and one step backward along my path to golf swing enlightenment.
------------ About the author: Steve Dayton writes articles like he hits range balls: high, far-out, and sometimes even straight. Email: stixus_steve@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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