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Feb. 21, 2007 "I have been fired from four different jobs for performing too well. I have been fired from another to cover my manager's mistakes. Recently I was fired because someone had to be and I seemed most capable of handling the adversity. I could continue for several more paragraphs listing the undeserved injustices that have been handed me." Tom Pain aka Ron Lewis aka Guyat aka Eabra aka Judy Self RON LEWIS GETS FIRED FROM McDONALDS Ron, you are a master at flipping those burgers, and you never forget to ask "Do you want fries with that", You are the best performer I've ever had in my crew, but I have to fire you. You are too good at what you do, the rest of the crew is getting very jealous of you, I can't have that. You are fired. RON LEWIS GETS FIRED FROM WENDYS Ron, I got the word from headquarters, I have to let somebody go. And you are the one best able to handle getting fired. I can't let Donna go, she has four children. I can't fired Fred, he's recuperating from cancer. I can't can Dave, his wife is pregnant. You on the other hand, don't have to pay rent, you live in your mom's basement, you dont' have any children, you don't have any friends too disappoint. Sorry, you're fired, dude. RON LEWIS GETS FIRED FROM SUBWAY Ron, I screwed up big time, I messed up all the accounting. I need someone to take the fall. Everybody knows you are a weasly creep. They will believe me when I but the blame on you. Sorry dude, you are fired. You can take a couple of subs with you. Good luck. RON LEWIS GETS FIRED FROM CARLS JR. Ron you are the hardest worker I've ever had, you do everythigng I ask. You even clean the restroooms without me asking you. But I have to let you go, the customers complain that they dont' like being served by some swishy dude wearing purple hotpants. RON LEWIS GETS FIRED FROM TACO BELL Ron, you are the best performer in the history of TAco Bell, but the customers complain that you are always correcting their grammar. Nobody wants their grammar correctd by some creep fixing chalupas and sporting purple hotpants. The last straw was when you corrected the Spanish grammar of our of our Mexican customers. YOu are fired. RON LEWS IS NOW WORKING AT BURGER KING He fights the impulse to wear purple hotpants. He bites his tongue when he hears someone mangle the English language. He works silently, and then goes home to his mom's basement and takes out his frustration on U-K regulars. ------------ About the author: Steve Miller is a new contributor of Useless-Knowledge. Email: bradybunchmarcialover@yahoo.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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