U-K Prizefights III: Tom Pain Vs Judy Self

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U-K Prizefights III: Tom Pain Vs Judy Self

By Steve Miller
Feb. 19, 2007

Ringside Announcer: Tom Pain has been trounced twice, but he seems to like punishment, he's here to fight again.

Richard Simmons Guest Analyst: Yes, and maybe he will win tonite, after all he's fighting a female this time. By the way, Tom looks so precious in his little lavender hotpants.

Ringside Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to U-K Prizefights III. Tonight we have Tom "Masochist" Pain in the lavender hotpants and Judy "Killer" Self in the black trunks.

Referee: Pain, no gay stuff, Oh wait a minute, nevermind, you are fighting a female tonite.

Ringside Announcer: The bell sounds and Judy lands a low blow and Pain is on the mat clutching his groin.

Referee: Now Judy, that's a point against you. No more low blows.

Judy: I didn't meant to hit his balls. I I hear they are as tiny as ball bearings. I was luckier than hell to actually hit them.

Richard Simmons: Tommy is up, he looks a little bit pale. Oh poor baby, I'm going to have to show him some loving tonite.

Ringside Announcer: Judy winds up and delivers a roundhouse punch to Tom's noggin and oh crap, here we go again. Tom Pain has soiled his diapers again. The droppy diapers fool has slithered away in shame.

Richard Simmons: Congratulations Judy, you really beat the poop out him. Hee, Hee, Hee.

Judy: I sure did. I can't stand that fool. He hardly ever lets me come out. It's not fun being one of his minor personalities.

Ringside Announcer: Folks, to be honest I feel guilty cashing my checks. But the Country Gentleman tells me that the U-K community loves these outrageous fights. There might be one or more of these travesties.

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About the author: Steve Miller is a new contributor of Useless-Knowledge.

Email: bradybunchmarcialover@yahoo.com

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