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Feb. 16, 2007 The bakery sat snugly between Dream Theater and the Public Library on Main Street and just in front of Petting Zoo. People pass and look and people stop and smell. It is the peoples' bakery aptly-named "The Cake and the Baker". Mondays are a rush and Baker John eyes folks as each pass his window while he works. John is Second Baker of three. First you have the boss, Baker Bill, and lastly you have the helper, Baker Tim. And each baker can see folks as they rush to and from work. The bakers watch while folks pop in for morning, afternoon, and evening treats. Now and as each day passes, open six days per week, these faces that pass seem more and more familiar, and even if they don't pop in very often. "The peoples' bakery is always here for the people, and sooner or later each will want to stop in", says Baker Bill. "Get to know these faces. These are your next customers". Baker John abides and notices the friendly children waiting for the bus, the banker from down the street, and Librarian Buffy who loves bear claws every-other morning at eight am. Baker John notices a mysterious man who passes each day and who stops and peers into the shop but who never comes inside. He is a man with a cane and a hat that reads "Magician". Baker John always smiles and waves "hello", but this mysterious man just shrugs his shoulders and walks away. One rainy day the mysterious man steps inside the shop. "Cold and rainy today", says John. The mysterious man maintains his mystery. "My name is John, and I am Second Baker. Is there something I can get for you?" The mysterious man just shrugs his shoulders once more and walks away towards the door… but then he stops. He turns back towards John and hisses, "Our neighborhood baker has retired, and now I need a cake!" "Sure", says John. "I'll be happy to take your order… what'll it be?" Mystery Man approaches the counter and growls, "What do you mean? This is a bakery, right? You do know how to make a cake, right? I just need a cake… okay?" "Okay, okay… yes I know how to make a cake", says Baker John. "Do you have a preference?" "Coconut", says Mystery Man. "And coconut you shall have, sir! It will be ready for you in three hours", says Baker John. Three hours pass and Baker John is putting the final touches on a masterful coconut cake. Mystery Man walks in at this time, looks at the cake, and then starts fuming so as if he might burst into flames. "What is this? Is this my cake? Where did you learn how to bake, at daycare?" "Sir… what do you mean?" says Baker John. "You said you wanted coconut." "Yes, I said coconut alright, but it is supposed to be a chocolate cake shaped like a coconut, you idiot!" "Okay sir… come back in three hours and I'll have a chocolate cake shaped like a coconut ready and just for you." Three hours pass and Baker John is putting the final touches on a masterful chocolate cake shaped like a coconut. Mystery Man arrives once more and again starts his hiss fit. "Where is the lettering? It's her birthday, you know… where is the lettering… and where are the candles? What kind of cake is under this chocolate frosting?" Baker John answers respectfully, "Sir, its devil's food cake under delicious dark fudge chocolate frosting!" Mystery Man issues Baker John a final blow. "Any idiot knows a coconut is milk chocolate-colored outside and white inside. You should kill yourself." Baker John looks at Mystery Man and says, "You owe me for two cakes now and if you ever stop in this store again you'll need to lose those crystal balls." ------------ About the author: Calvin Dean Workman is a new contributor of Useless-Knowledge. Email: sniffledorf@earthlink.net Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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