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Dec. 25, 2007 ![]() George W. Bush EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was
arrested in My MILITARY: I joined
the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused
to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining
the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in COLLEGE: I graduated
from PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for
U.S. Congress and lost. I began my
career in the oil business in I bought an
oil company, but couldn't find any oil in I bought
the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
taxpayer money. With the
help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including
Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF I changed During my
tenure, I cut taxes
and bankrupted the I set the
record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the
help of my brother, the governor of ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I am the
first President in I invaded
and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per
week. I spent the
I shattered
the record for the largest annual deficit in I set an
economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the
all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the I'm proud
that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in My
"poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her. I set the
record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the
all-time My largest
lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay,
presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My
political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my
success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. More time
and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been
spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided
over the biggest energy crisis in I presided
over the highest gasoline prices in I changed
the I appointed
more convicted criminals to administration than any President in I created
the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of
the I've broken
more international treaties than any President in I am the
first President in I withdrew
the I refused
to allow inspectors access to I am the
first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during
the 2002 I set the
record for fewest number of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television. I set the
all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After
taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security
failure in I garnered
the most sympathy for the I have set
the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in
public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against
any person in the history of mankind. I am the
first President in I have cut
health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for
active duty troops and their families -- in war time. In my State
of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking I am the
first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am
supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so
far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records
of my tenure as governor of All records
of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records
or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. PLEASE CONSIDER MY PARTY WHEN VOTING IN 2008! ------------ About the author: Peter Pike resides in Colorado which is far, far away from Cleveland. Email: peter@peterpike.com Comment on this article here! ------------ All articles are EXCLUSIVE to Useless-Knowledge.com. Please link to this article rather than copying and pasting it onto your site (which would be unauthorized and illegal). |
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