Although you may not understand the Java jargon, take a gander below at my screenshot of a bulletin-board conversation between two software engineers, “Conrad_G” and “t.n.f”, who are discussing that pesky little problem of what might happen when you—the person two months behind on your credit card—click twice on the ‘submit payment’ button:

Confused?  So is our programmer friend t.n.f, and that’s why you—with two simple clicks of your mouse’s tail—might well become the next unwitting victim of internet highway robbery.  Virtual felon t.n.f initiated the thread displayed above, by asking his fellow Java geeks how to prevent duplicate information from being transmitted by a website, when a person inadvertently clicks twice on a submission form.  In other words, t.n.f is one of the (incompetent) hackers responsible for the ominous warning message you see on many online payment pages;  you know, the one directly above the large, neon-colored payment button that (unfailingly) whisks money at lightning speed out of your bank account:

Clicking Twice May Result In A Duplicate Payment.

Have you ever seen this message?  Of course you have.  I’m just thankful there are people like Conrad_G around to save our collective hides (and wallets).  I mean, we are fast approaching the year 2008, and there are still major corporation websites infesting cyberspace that cannot discern whether someone intended a single Visa payment of $134.76, or whether they in fact meant “Ah… what the hell.  Go ahead and make mine a double.”  Our hero Conrad_G takes time out of his busy day to supply his fellow engineer t.n.f with a viable answer, and what does the nefarious villain respond with?  “Yes, that wouldn’t work… [blah, blah, blah…],” “I could save… [blah blah blah…],” and, incredibly “This is a bit too slow and cumbersome.”

Excuse me?  Too slow and cumbersome, did you say?  A good Samaritan just gave you a perfectly good remedy—for free no less, to prevent your greedy corporate masters from vacuuming the last pennies out of our beleaguered bank accounts, and you’re now dismissing it for being too slow and cumbersome???  Why, I oughta… [expletive deleted].

Hey t.n.f… Maybe your acronym stands for “Total Neurological Failure”, or “Terabytes of Neurons Fricasseed”.  This is our lunch money you’re dealing with, you bozo!

Along with outrageous ATM fees, bulletin board exchanges like this prove that corporate America has obviously found a clever new way to siphon the gas out of our tanks.  Software bugs which operate on (accidental!) duplicate clicks by online customers, which already have practical, foolproof, patch & go solutions, would not be not tolerated in a truly moral society.  If web-based financial studies were allowed, I’m betting we would all be stunned by the amount of money being drained into corporate sewer holes like these.

It shouldn’t take a Conrad_G to fix these problems.  If simple duplicate clicks are stopping the progress of secure online transactions, and are instead creating a virulent new strain of electronic stagecoach robberies, then maybe burying a coffee can stuffed with cash in the backyard was an idea way ahead of its time.


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About the author: Steve Dayton writes articles like he hits range balls: high, far-out, and sometimes even straight.

Email: stixus_steve@yahoo.com

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